He’s Not Sure If He Should Breakup With His Girlfriend Because She’s Constantly Negative, And It’s Dragging Him Down
This guy in his early thirties is currently in a long-distance relationship with his 24-year-old girlfriend, who he claims to truly love.
Apparently, his girlfriend has done so much more for him than any past partner ever had. She buys him thoughtful gifts and plans cute trips. He has also never opened himself up to anyone this deeply.
While he appreciates everything his girlfriend does for him, though, he cannot stand how negative his girlfriend constantly is.
Now, he recognizes that he is not exactly a super positive person either. But, his girlfriend is always stressed, tired, or overwhelmed– and tends to take that out on him.
“She will often snap at me and get irritated quickly,” he explained.
“And I just feel like I’m absorbing her negativity, and it makes me into a worse person and drags me down.”
He feels like this is particularly an issue during arguments– because anytime an issue gets brought up, she turns it into a fight. So, they can never just have mature and productive conversations.
His girlfriend has admitted to having anger issues, too. Yet, during the arguments, she doesn’t hold back. His girlfriend has even claimed to hate him during fights, listing every single thing she doesn’t like about him.
And according to him, his girlfriend always makes these comments with such hatred in her voice that he completely believes she has pent-up resentment against him.
New Africa – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Right afterward, though, his girlfriend then goes on to tell him everything she loves about him. She will also “joke” about him never doing enough or loving her enough.
“She says it literally every day or every other day but has admitted to me during a breakdown that she actually thinks that,” he revealed.
“I tell her that this hurts as I’m doing as much as possible during long distance, but she continues to say it.”
On top of that, his girlfriend constantly complains about how he doesn’t post her on his social media that often. Honestly, though, he claimed that he just does not really like using social media.
Plus, it’s not like his girlfriend posts him on her accounts, either. Yet, she has seen her liking posts about “what it means when guys don’t post you” and “signs your relationship is bad” on Twitter.
Finally, at the end of these arguments, his girlfriend always expects him to “chase her” after she hangs up the phone or exits a conversation. And his girlfriend claims this is just because he doesn’t make her feel wanted enough.
He recognizes that some of this behavior stems from his girlfriend’s childhood because she grew up in a household with angry and toxic parents.
Apparently, his girlfriend realizes this, too, and tells him that she is working on it. But she still refuses to go to therapy and claims that he needs to accept her for how she is instead of trying to change her.
“Which to me is true and just makes me wonder if we’re just not compatible, and she needs someone more strong-minded, I guess,” he vented.
“It’s definitely a ‘walking on eggshells’ feeling.”
So, he is really just not sure what to do. On the one hand, his girlfriend has treated him well in every other way, and he really believes they have similar interests and goals in life.
On the other hand, though, he keeps thinking about what life would be like if they got married and had kids. Would his girlfriend also snap at the kids out of anger? Would she constantly be negative around them, too? How would that affect the kids?
He had been hoping that things would change for the better in their relationship. But, in the meantime, he has been left wondering whether he should break up with his constantly negative girlfriend or not.
Do you think the good outweighs the bad in this scenario? Should he feel worried about having kids with his partner? Is this a sign they should break up? What would you do?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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