Chip Chick
Throw the red flag when you have a good reason. Not everyone is as open as others.
#8: Going out without your partner. Similar to going on a vacation without your partner, some people quickly label going out for the night without their partner as a red flag. This is just not true. It is normal to go out now and then without your partner.
What matters here most is communication. Every couple is going to handle that differently. For example, when my wife goes out without me, she tells me who she is going with and where. Then, she will give me a rough estimate of when she will be home. If she plans to be out later than agreed, she will call or text to update me. In return, I do the same thing when I go out without her. This works for us.
If you have a similar setup, it is not a red flag. You are allowed to have a life outside of the relationship.
#9: Having friends of the opposite gender. This is another controversial red flag. Again, it’s going to depend on the couple in question. My wife and I have friends of the opposite gender with whom we text and hang out alone. Why is this not a red flag? Communication and trust. She has hung out with every female friend I have, and I have hung out with every male friend she has. We have both signed off on these people as okay to hang out with without the other present. We set boundaries for each other and trust all parties involved not to cross those boundaries.
Now, if they are being secretive about their friends, refusing to let you meet them or talk to them, that’s a red flag. If no secrets exist and boundaries have been established, there is no red flag. Each relationship will set the rules for this in a way that makes sense for their relationship. Make sure everyone is on board with these rules and that there should be no problems.
There is a lot of controversy around hanging out with friends of the opposite gender because of the potential to get “too close” since there is an opportunity to cross a line, but it comes down to how much trust there is. Chances are, if you are happy in your relationship and your friends respect the rules of the relationship, there is nothing to worry about.
So, there you have it. These are common red flags that don’t have to be red flags. Context is everything here. Do not be quick to assume behaviors like these are red flags. Talk to each other.
Red flags are only red flags if you say they are. Nobody has a say over what is a red flag in your relationship.
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