Katharina Buczek
Perhaps someone you met found another person they are simply more interested in. Or, maybe they are just not interested in you anymore and don’t have the heart to let you down. Similarly, your date might just not be ready for a commitment, or they could be dealing with issues in their personal life.
As you can probably see, there really is no universal answer to the question of why specific people ghost. But, the root cause of why the phenomenon has grown so popular might just be a product of our modern dating culture.
At this very moment, you have an endless supply of potential suitors right at your fingertips on dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble. And this surplus means that people often opt to invest less time and effort into getting to know someone since the supply isn’t going anywhere. After all, if something doesn’t work out, they could always just keep swiping right.
This also reflects how transactional dating has become as a whole. Nowadays, people tend to treat first dates like job interviews– entering with a list of criteria that potential suitors must “check off” on your list.
Ticking off boxes is much different than going on a date with an open mind and getting to know someone organically, though. And this pressure may even contribute to why someone would rather cut things off and ghost you instead of having a tough conversation.
With all of this being said, it’s still not okay to excuse ghosting– because, at the end of the day, the person on the receiving end will likely experience a lot of hurt and confusion.
So, what should you do if you’ve been a victim of ghosting? First and foremost, remember that ghosting can be a sign of a lack of emotional intelligence and maturity. That’s why you cannot beat yourself up– since ghosting is not always a reflection of your own actions.
Also, quit wasting time trying to figure out why you were ghosted. You’ll probably never get a satisfying answer to this question, so dwelling on it can just drag out the emotional recovery process.
This means that the best thing you can do is focus on moving on and building your own self up to make sure no one else’s actions impact your self-worth.
Now, if you’re the person doing the ghosting, I get it. Some conversations are really difficult, and it can be tough to broach uncomfortable or awkward topics.
While pulling a disappearing act might feel easier at the moment though, ghosting is honestly just a cowardly move. Instead, strive to be honest and upfront in your relationships– even when it feels tough.
