She’s Teaching You How To Professionally Insult People In The Corporate World While Keeping Things Respectful
Sometimes, your job will cause you stress, whether it’s due to a micromanaging boss, incompetent coworkers, or the workload itself.
You might feel compelled to say something, scream, curse, and yell. But as satisfying as it may feel, calling people names is not an option. You’re an adult with a career, not a kindergartner on the playground at recess.
TikToker Kayla (@bodybytacobell) is teaching you how to professionally insult people in the corporate world while keeping things respectful. She translates regular blunt insults and phrases into more appropriate language.
If you want to tell someone, “That’s a you problem,” say instead, “That seems to fall more in your job responsibilities.”
And how would you let someone know that they’re a liar? Respond with, “I recall that quite differently.”
Next is: “Told you so,” which will translate to “As per my prediction, this outcome is not a surprise to me.”
If you want to communicate to someone that they’re stupid, say, “To put it more simply…” and explain what you need to explain.
When you’re wondering how to say, “Who asked you?” turn to this nifty little remark: “Can you clarify who brought you in on this project?”
To tell someone they can mess around and find out, say, “Do whatever you think is necessary, and I’ll react accordingly.”
bnenin – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
If your boss is adding more to your workload without a raise, you might want to snap back with, “I don’t work for free.”
Instead, you should say, “These tasks are an expansion of my role here. Is there a plan to review this and compensate me for that?”
You can’t tell a coworker the idea they brought to the table was a terrible one. The question: “Are we confident this is our solution to this problem, or are we still exploring alternatives?” is a more appropriate way of reflecting your sentiments.
To express to a coworker that you don’t care and they should complete the task instead of you, simply state, “I’ll rely on your judgment. I’m not passionate one way or another.”
Next on the list of insults is “Not today, Satan.” That translates to, “I’ll be glad to circle back to this when I have more time.”
When you wish to tell your boss to stop micromanaging you and get off your back, say, “I am confident in my ability to complete this task, but I will reach out if and when I have any further questions.”
“Stay in your lane” translates to “Thank you for your input. I’ll keep that in mind when I’m moving forward, making decisions about my own job responsibilities.”
“That is not my job” translates to “I do not have the capacity to take this on at the moment, but I’ll be glad to support where it makes sense.”
If you want to order someone to Google something, tell them, “The internet is a great resource to clarify questions like this. In the future, I’ll be available to help you with anything you are not able to find online.”
To let people know you refuse to stay late to finish more work, say, “My workday concludes at 5 PM. I’ll be glad to prioritize this in the coming days when I have availability.”
Here’s how to tell someone to stop promising unrealistic timelines and deadlines: “Can you clarify your thinking on these deadlines because I’m not following?”
And finally, here’s how to say, “If you want it done your way, do it yourself.” This phrase means, “It’s clear that you have a very specific idea of how you want this project executed, so I encourage you to take the lead on this matter, and I’ll be glad to support when necessary.”
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