Her Dad’s Refusing To Apologize After He Called Her Husband Lazy In Front Of All Their Baby Shower Guests
This 35-year-old woman has a 62-year-old father who is an extreme perfectionist– which she believes makes him pretty difficult to get along with.
Her dad also grew up during the 1960s and 1970s, when men were viewed as breadwinners and physical providers; meanwhile, wives were “supposed to” be the people who provided psychological and emotional support to their children.
That’s why her dad was never a warm and nurturing father figure. Instead, that responsibility was delegated to her mother.
Back when she was dating, however, she wound up meeting and falling in love with a guy who was the exact opposite of her dad.
They have since tied the knot, too, and her husband– who is 36– is reportedly nurturing, warm, and extremely involved in their two sons’ lives.
At the same time, her husband financially provides for their family.
And given the stark contrast between her husband’s experience being a father versus her dad’s experience, her dad just cannot seem to understand that her husband’s responsibilities do not end as soon as he gets home.
So, it doesn’t make sense to her dad why her husband does not have time to, for instance, fix up things around their home.
“Now, firstly, my husband is not technical like my father– and doesn’t want to be,” she explained.
Natalie – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“And secondly, after all of the sports activities, spending time with our sons and dogs, and just surviving the week, we are utterly exhausted over weekends.”
She has communicated this to her dad on numerous occasions, too– sometimes nicely, and sometimes not so nicely.
She has told him that he has no idea what fatherhood is like for her husband and has reiterated how she and her husband do not appreciate being shamed for what they do or do not do in their lives.
Regardless, her dad always just claims that he is just trying to help. So, the cycle continues.
But more recently, after her dad poked his nose into their business one more time, she finally had enough.
It all began at her baby shower, as she is currently expecting another baby. Now, she did not really want to have another shower, but her friends insisted on it and organized the entire celebration– inviting all of her loved ones.
And as she and her husband were opening up some of the shower gifts outside, a wooden swing in their yard broke while a guest was sitting on it.
“It wasn’t all too surprising as the swing wasn’t in great shape, and we had a lot of rain recently,” she noted.
The guest also wound up being fine after the fall, so they just continued opening up presents together.
But then, out of nowhere, her father decided to throw in his opinion on how to fix the swing. At that point, her husband responded and explained how he was instead thinking of handling the situation in another way.
However, her dad could not let it go and accused her husband of being lazy in front of everyone for not doing it his way.
Thankfully, her husband just turned toward her at that moment, ignored her dad, and said he did not want to spoil the day with arguing, and then they continued opening gifts together.
After the party, though, she did message her dad about his rude remark.
She sent him a “friendly message” pointing out how her husband was hurt after getting called lazy in front of all their friends.
She also claimed she would appreciate it if her dad could give them a call to apologize.
Still, her dad’s only response was that he was just trying to give some advice. So, she was forced to remind him that they never asked for any input before reiterating that her dad has to apologize for ruining an important party for her and her husband.
Nonetheless, she has received nothing but radio silence from her dad ever since– because, apparently, he just does not believe in apologizing.
“And my mother obviously took my dad’s side and also ignored us for two days. Then, she called us to say that this is just the way my dad is– he does it to everyone, and he is too old to change,” she recalled.
But quite frankly, she does not care if anyone believes they are too old to change. At the end of the day, she doesn’t think her husband should have been embarrassed in his own home in front of their guests just because her dad believed he knew better.
She told her mom that, too. Yet her mom still expects her and her husband to just let it go.
“But since it’s not the first, third, or eighth time we have specifically communicated this boundary, and my dad crossed it, I am thinking that this is a hill I will die on,” she vented.
“Our daughter is being born in six weeks’ time, and while I will never use my kids as pawns in a battle against my parents, I can’t see how I want him involved with this elephant in the room.”
Still, ever since this whole incident unfolded, she’s been left wondering if that’s the right way to deal with this situation.
Why do you think her dad refuses to respect her husband and the way they live their life? Does she have a right to “make this the hill she dies on” since her dad clearly does not respect her boundaries? How would you move forward from this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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