Parentification Can Have Long-Term Negative Impacts On A Child, And Here Are Some Of The Signs
If you ever had to take care of your younger siblings, mediate your parents’ arguments, and become their confidante as a child, you may have been parentified.
Of course, it’s normal to have some responsibility as a child, but when you’re taking on duties that the adults in your life should be handling, that’s a sign that a line is being crossed.
The natural order of things is that a parent should be taking care of their kids while the kids focus on growing and developing.
But in some situations, a kid can have their childhood stripped from them when a parent is unable to provide the proper care.
Parentification occurs when a parent places their child into a caregiver role instead of the other way around. A parentified child is often expected to manage their parents’ needs and carry grown-up burdens without receiving any acknowledgment for it.
A few examples of when a parent may need to rely on their child for support are if they have a mental health condition, if a parent or sibling has a disability, or if the family experiences financial hardship.
There are two types of parentification–instrumental and emotional. Instrumental parentification happens when children are put in charge of tasks that aren’t age appropriate.
This could be paying bills, making dinner for the whole family, scheduling medical appointments, or getting younger siblings ready for school.
It’s healthy for children to participate in chores to build their sense of independence and responsibility.
Kateryna – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Having your middle schooler unload the dishwasher and learn how to do their own laundry is different from what instrumental parentification is.
Emotional parentification is less about a child performing physical tasks and more about figuring out a parent’s emotional needs and providing comfort.
For instance, if a parent depends on the presence of their child in order to feel better because they don’t have anyone else to turn to, they might prevent the child from going out with their friends. The parent might resort to making the child feel guilty about leaving them alone.
Additionally, an emotionally parentified child can act almost as a therapist of sorts by listening to a parent talk about their problems and offering advice.
Parentification can have long-term negative impacts on a child, resulting in a wide range of mental health issues.
As parentified children grow into adults, they might struggle to uphold boundaries and maintain relationships.
If you were parentified, there is treatment available to help repair the damage you experienced during your childhood. You can work on rebuilding the necessary skills to develop healthy boundaries and relationships, leading to a happier, balanced life!
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