She’s A Boundary Coach, And She’s Explaining How You Can Deal With This Invasive Question Someone Is Sure To Ask You Around The Holidays Regarding Your Love Life
The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year, right? Or maybe they’re the most overwhelming, depending on whether or not you’ve got nosy family members asking inappropriate questions that you loathe to answer. And most of us definitely do.
If you’re someone who doesn’t see a lot of your family very often, spending time with them is a top priority.
But it can be difficult to bond and build a connection when every mom, auntie, uncle, or cousin is bombarding you with personal questions about your love life.
Boundary coach Kami Orange (@kami_orange) on TikTok has ways of dealing with super-invasive inquiries from relatives that you can utilize this holiday season.
In the video, Kami goes over how to answer the example question, “Do you have a boyfriend yet?” There are four ways in which you can respond based on your confrontation style.
The first option is reserved for when a family member is well-intentioned and if you prefer to be more indirect in navigating around the question.
All you have to do is change the subject. Rather than saying yes or no to the question, bring up another positive piece of information, something like how you received a promotion. Then, describe what your new position entails.
The second option can be applied to a situation where a relative still has loving intentions, but you have a more direct confrontation style.
In this case, it is appropriate to gently educate them. For example, instead of ignoring the question altogether, politely respond with something like, “I know you asked that because you care about me, but that’s not a fun topic for me right now.”
Geber86 – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Afterward, you can switch the topic of conversation to what is currently happening right at the family gathering. Talk about the food being served or what kind of mischievous fun the kids are getting into.
The next option is for someone who is indirect and dealing with a relative who has selfish intentions. You can make a joke out of the question.
Kami gives the example: “Why would I pasture the bull when I can get the balls for free?” That response will be sure to stun any family member silent if that’s your goal.
Finally, the last option can be used for a relative with selfish intentions and if you prefer to be more direct. The key is to make it awkward, possibly preventing any more invasive questions from coming your way in the future.
In response, Kami suggests that you could say something along the lines of, “Sometimes, I think you ask me that because you want me to say no so you can remind me that I won’t be young and pretty much longer, which comes off really weird.”
@kami_orange Which one is your favorite? Check out my free Holiday Boundary Setting Worksheet for more! #boundarycoach #boundaries #whattosaywhen #holidayclapbacks
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