She’s Talking About How Motherhood “Tests Your Inner Gangster”
Motherhood can be a delightful and rewarding experience, but not every moment is filled with joy and laughter. Sometimes, it can leave you in a puddle of tears.
Logan Cooper (@crookedcounselorcooper) is a licensed mental health counselor, and she’s on TikTok talking about how motherhood tests your inner gangster.
She stitched a video from creator @bhadie.kanoe. In the stitched clip, the creator is holding her young son, who slaps her hand, causing her to hit herself in the face.
On instinct, she reached out to return the blow but quickly stopped herself when she realized that was not an appropriate response as a mother.
“When you’re about to swing back but remember [they’re] just a baby,” she wrote in the text overlay of the video.
Logan shared that she could definitely relate to the struggle the creator was experiencing in the video. She added that the combination of surviving her childhood trauma and becoming a mother herself has caused all the trauma responses she learned back then to rise to the surface.
“Now I don’t know this mom. I don’t know anything about her parenting philosophy; I don’t know anything about how she was parented, but I do know moments like that,” said Logan.
Throughout her life, Logan has had her boundaries violated in several different ways, including being hit. As a result, she developed certain forms of defense to protect herself.
She explained that when your child does something unintentionally to trigger the trauma stored in your body, it can be a challenge to maintain your rationality because you are entering a state of mind that puts you in fight or flight mode.
Africa Studio – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
She also says that it’s not uncommon for your first instinct to fight back and defend yourself when your body registers physical pain.
“When my daughter was four years old, she threw a snow boot at me and hit me square in the nose, and I had to leave the room because I felt like the Hulk,” she said.
In another instance, her son had kicked her in the chest after her breast reduction surgery. The moment made her “immediately see red,” and she had to walk away before she blew up.
All this is to say that these urges do not mean you are a bad mother. Motherhood can push you to your limits, and these types of emotional experiences are valid. Usually, they come about because you are actively trying to heal from the way you were treated as a child.
The only way to lessen them is to continue on your healing journey so that you can learn to properly regulate your emotions and give your kids a better childhood than you did. Many TikTok users shared their own experiences in which their little ones have tested their self-control.
“There are days that I have had to sit down with my daughter and tell her I’m sorry for how I acted and that I didn’t mean to act that way,” admitted one user.
“My daughter pulled out my nose ring after being in for 3 weeks I almost threw her how HORRID the pain was, I tried so hard not to cry,” commented another.
“My 1 yo slapped me in the face in a crowded restaurant. I politely excused myself and went to the bathroom and cried,” wrote someone else.
@crookedcounselorcooper #stitch with @miss.alani Reparenting yourself is for the REAL ones. #healing #healingjourney #healingtiktok #parents #parentsoftiktok #momsoftiktok #mom #trauma #parenting #reparenting #generationaltrauma
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