Don’t Make Your Kids Walk On Eggshells: Instead, Recognize The Signs Of “Eggshell Parents,” Who Are Known For Having Unstable Moods And Unpredictable Behaviors
It’s not uncommon for parents to worry about how their parenting is impacting their little ones. There’s always that underlying fear of failing to live up to society’s parenting expectations or even the standards you set for yourself.
On top of that, you have to make sure you’re not following in the footsteps of your own parents, particularly if you grew up experiencing some unhealthy dynamics.
That brings us to the latest trending parenting topic on TikTok: eggshell parenting. An eggshell parent is a term used to describe a parent with unstable moods and unpredictable behaviors, which cause their children to walk on eggshells around them to avoid setting them off.
This type of parenting is characterized by frequent emotional outbursts and intense mood swings that are very inconsistent. Children never know when their parents might blow up at them.
As a result, they will become hypervigilant in order to protect themselves from the eruptions, staying stuck in fight or flight mode throughout their childhood and even in relationships they have in the future. They’re always on the lookout for any signs of impending danger.
Of course, all parents yell from time to time. It’s normal to get frustrated or upset, but with eggshell parenting, it’s a daily event. The child will often feel responsible for the emotional reaction, causing them to blame themselves and experience shame.
Non-eggshell parents might feel guilty about snapping at their children and can apologize for their behavior afterward. On the other hand, eggshell parents think that their actions were justified, and they don’t try to make amends.
Here is an example of eggshell parenting: a child comes home from school and tells their parent the score they got on a test. The parent congratulates them, but a few hours later, they will criticize the child for not getting a better grade.
Threats are also common with eggshell parenting. A parent may threaten to kick their child out of the house or stop providing them with basic necessities to prevent the child from doing something they disapprove of, such as getting a shorter haircut.
fizkes – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Eggshell parenting can have harmful consequences that affect children in the long term. They are at a high risk of developing depression, anxiety disorders, and complex post-traumatic stress disorder from living in a state of chronic fear and not having their emotional needs met.
If you think you are an eggshell parent, the first step to changing your behavior is to be honest with yourself about how you’ve been treating your kids. Then, you must address any trauma that could be contributing to your eggshell parenting.
On top of that, you need to own up to your mistakes, which can be a challenge for some eggshell parents because they often don’t recognize when they’ve crossed a line.
The process of learning how to develop a new relationship with yourself and with your child takes time. Working on it a little every day, perhaps under the guidance of a mental health professional, can help yield positive results.
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