He’s Refusing To Legally Adopt His Stepson Because He Doesn’t Feel A Father-Son Connection Between Them And Views His Stepson As More Of A Nephew
This 38-year-old man met his wife, who is 36, about 10 years ago. At the time, she was a widow raising her 2-year-old son.
They tied the knot about seven years ago, and now, they have a daughter together– who is 6-years-old.
But, while he loves his wife and his own daughter, he just doesn’t have the same feelings for his stepson– who is now 12.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate or mistreat him. I just don’t see him as my son,” he said.
He claimed that he is active and involved in his stepson’s life. He also pays for his stepson’s schooling, drives the tween to all of his activities, and plays with him.
Additionally, he helps his stepson out whenever he’s needed. But that doesn’t mean he feels a father-son connection between them.
“I feel like my stepson’s more like a nephew than a son to me,” he admitted.
His wife knows how he feels, too, and it makes her really unhappy. According to her, his stepson already views him as a father.
But, what really ticked him off was when his wife suggested that he legally adopt his stepson and start simply calling him son.
Dusko – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
In his wife’s mind, she feels as though he’s creating a divide between his stepson and his daughter. However, he strongly disagrees with that and claims that he’s tried his best to avoid showing any favoritism.
“I’ve suffered from this myself. My parents preferred my younger brother, and I won’t make that mistake with my stepson,” he explained.
In general, he also feels like he’s doing everything he can to be a good stepdad. But, he refuses to “force a feeling” for his stepson that, in his words, just “doesn’t exist.”
That’s why he really does not want to legally adopt his stepson because, first of all, he isn’t interested in taking on that big of a responsibility.
“And I don’t want to call him my son because I don’t want to lie to him or myself,” he vented.
Still, in spite of his personal feelings, he can’t help but wonder if refusing to legally adopt his stepson really does make him a jerk.
If he’s already actively involved in his stepson’s life, what more responsibility would he have to take on by legally adopting his stepson? Regardless, do you think he’s in the wrong for refusing to “force a feeling?” What would you do in this situation?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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