It’s Time To Let Go If Your Relationship Has Become One-Sided And Your Partner Simply Refuses To Change: Here’s How
When you notice you’ve started having problems with your relationship and put a lot of effort into improving it, only for your partner to not put forth any effort themselves, it gets really frustrating.
Relationships quickly become one-sided when only one person is willing to put in the work and do whatever it takes to keep their partner happy and the relationship healthy. You can try your hardest to communicate your issues to your partner, hoping they’ll change, but they may not always deliver.
Some people can be quite stubborn, especially when it comes to relationships. They may get this “take me as I am” mentality and gaslight you into thinking you don’t accept them for their true selves whenever you ask them to improve on a bad habit or their communication skills.
You may have tried for weeks, months, or years to fix your relationship, but if your partner refuses to change, you may be stuck in a one-sided relationship that doesn’t serve you. At some point, there comes a time when you realize your partner isn’t going to change. While it can be devastating, it’s an indicator that it’s time to let go.
The first phase of letting go is to realize that no matter how hard you try, you cannot control your partner or their actions. You can be really convincing and very charming, but no matter what you do, you have no control over what they’re going to do next.
Instead of finding this unsettling, find some comfort in it. Once you realize you can’t control someone, you’ll stop pressuring yourself to find ways to make it work and realize there’s only so much you can do.
You can also try to look on a somewhat brighter side and see this as a learning experience. Let’s say your partner refuses to improve their communication skills, and that’s the biggest thing that’s been bugging you in your relationship. Well, now you know that communication is very important to you, and you can seek out future partners who value it as much as you.
If your partner refused to drop a habit that disgusted you and affected your social life, like drinking or smoking, you’ll know you should focus on finding people who don’t do it.
Another part of letting go is allowing yourself to stop trying. If you’ve been trying to get your partner to change for months, go to couples therapy with you, or just make more of an effort in general, and nothing has happened, know when it’s time to stop.
zigres – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
Do not, under any circumstances, beat yourself up for not getting your partner to change. You should give yourself a pat on the back for trying and focus on practicing self-love.
Speaking of self-love, you’ll want to give yourself a lot of it around this time. Pay attention to yourself and what you need after breaking things off with your stubborn partner.
Have you been meaning to change your hair or organize your home in the last few weeks? Do it. Haven’t gotten a pedicure or drinks with friends in weeks? Go out and have some fun. Now is the time to focus on you!
Finally, you must set boundaries. Often, when you tell a stubborn partner that you’re breaking up with them because they haven’t changed, they start begging you to reconsider and “promise” you they’ll get their act together. Then, you take them back, they don’t change, and the vicious cycle starts over.
You must set boundaries with your partner. If they tell you they’re going to change as a way to convince you not to break up with them, tell them that’s great, but they’re not going to “change” on your time. You won’t sit around and waste your time while they make improvements.
I’m so sorry if you’ve been feeling like you’re with a partner who is stuck in their ways. Remember that you deserve better, and do what you need to do to free yourself from this rut!
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