7 Signs You’re In A One-Sided Relationship
A Relationship Can Only Work When Both People Are Invested
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. Have you ever tried to go kayaking with someone who didn’t put in any effort?
You two probably just spun in circles or moved nowhere, which is precisely what happens when one person tries to pull the entire weight of a relationship.
Here Are 7 Signs You’re In A One-Sided Relationship
No one ever intends to end up in this situation, either. Nonetheless, all sorts of circumstances–from personal struggles to past trauma or even just waning interest–can cause partners to withdraw, leaving you feeling utterly alone.
It goes without saying that imbalanced relationships are unfair, unhealthy, and unsustainable. So, the issue has to be rectified, or you need to walk away. Here are seven signs that you’re currently stuck in a one-sided relationship to help inform your next move.
1. You Can’t Rely On Your Partner
The whole point of entering a relationship in the first place is to have someone by your side through thick and thin. So, why would you want to date a person with “fair-weather friend” energy who never shows up for you when you actually need them?
Relationships, just like life, are all about balance. Yet, your partner might expect you to cater to their needs while pulling a disappearing act whenever you’re the one struggling.
Whether they miss important events, fail to follow through on promises, or simply never provide support when you’re going through a tough time, their actions (or lack thereof) speak volumes. No one should ever give their all to a relationship and receive nothing in return.
2. They Push You Away
In addition to physical effort, or the act of “being there,” relationships require emotional effort, too. No matter how hard it may be for some people to get vulnerable, couples are eventually supposed to open up and invite each other into their lives.
Your partner, on the other hand, may just push you away. Regardless of whether they mean to or not, this inadvertently places pressure on you to keep your emotional bond alive. And it can feel like talking (or trying to connect) with a brick wall.
3. Your Partner Doesn’t Take Accountability
Accountability is another cornerstone of healthy relationships. We’re human, so we all make mistakes, and it’s the ability to own them that helps us grow and evolve, especially as couples.
But when one half of your team refuses to take responsibility for their missteps or wrongdoings, the whole process is put on hold. Imagine if a basketball player got a “foul” in the middle of a game and refused to accept it, holding up the entire rest of the game.
In real life, they’d get kicked off the court to keep things moving. So, unless you put a stop to the pattern in your way, it will just continue to hold your relationship back.
A relationship without the ability to concede, compromise, and accept fault is just a sinking ship that’ll make you feel disregarded, undervalued, and unfulfilled.
4. Yet, You Still Try To Excuse Their Behavior
When we get stuck in one-sided relationships, it’s usually more obvious than we think. Your friends and family members have probably noticed the time, effort, and care you put into your partnership and the fact that your significant other doesn’t exactly do the same for you.
Then, when they bring it up, we can fall into the trap of excusing our partner’s behavior. Perhaps you don’t want to accept what’s going on, or you’ve just become so accustomed to this one-sided dynamic that it seems acceptable, even though it’s not.
Remember that you deserve more, and a partner who genuinely cares won’t act like dead weight.
5. Your Partner Doesn’t Seem Invested In Your Relationship’s Success
Why do we even put effort into relationships at all? Well, to make them work and last, of course. That’s why a partner who doesn’t appear invested in your relationship’s success is a major red flag.
For some reason, they aren’t motivated or driven to contribute. It’s possible they’re struggling with something in their personal life. Otherwise, they may just not see a future with you.
Either way, when your partner shows you how they feel, listen. Don’t try to ignore their disinterest because it’s usually a sign of a deeper problem.
6. You’re Constantly Stressed Or Overwhelmed
If you’re the only person trying to keep your relationship afloat, it makes sense why you frequently feel stressed out or overwhelmed. Are you the sole person initiating communication, planning dates, managing schedules, completing chores, paying bills, and catering to emotional needs? At that point, it’s as if you’re a single parent, not a partner.
It’s true that some relationships are more one-sided than others, with some lacking in more categories. But that really doesn’t matter since relationships can only be balanced when both people equally contribute in all areas, and anything less than that isn’t healthy.
7. You’ve Lost Your Sense Of Self-Worth
Finally, after grinding to maintain a romantic connection completely on your own, you might wake up one day and realize you’ve lost your self-confidence, individuality, or sense of self-worth. You’ve poured so much of your energy into trying to make your relationship with your partner work that you’ve neglected taking care of yourself, which should always be your first priority.
Without healthy boundaries and enough self-care, we can slowly become ghosts of our former selves. If you’ve fallen out of touch with the person you really are for the sake of your relationship, you need to make a change.
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