She Broke Down After Finding Out That Her Best Friend Is Moving In With Her Ex-Boyfriend
This 27-year-old woman admits that she’s not the kind of person to have a ton of friends. She has spent her whole life prioritizing school and work, which left little time for socializing.
But lately, she’s been putting a ton of effort into her own growth and making some new friends. Three years ago, she met her best friend C, and C has been dating and living with a guy named D for the past four years.
Now, her ex-boyfriend, whom she just dumped two months ago, she ended up meeting through her best friend C and C’s boyfriend D.
She dated her ex for an entire year, but she ended things with him after it dawned on her that they were not a great fit for one another.
“He admitted that he was not a good partner- he would call me annoying, stupid, etc., as a “joke” and refused to plan for the future with me,” she explained.
“I never lived with him- [he] was also resistant to the idea of me moving in or getting a roommate. C knew all of this and supported me through the breakup, saying he was an idiot for hurting me.”
“A few days ago my friend C says we need to talk in person. I went over to her house, super concerned. She said she’s finally breaking up with D and moving out, as he’s too avoidant and won’t go to therapy for his issues. I affirmed that this seems like a good decision for her. Then she drops the bomb that she’s moving in with my ex.”
What’s confusing to her is that C was never even friends with her ex-boyfriend, but they did frequently go out on double dates together.
Apparently, C ended up hanging out with her ex after C’s boyfriend made plans for the three of them and bailed.
Anton – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
Then, her ex had offered to let C move in with him while she was breaking up with D, and she jumped on that.
C claims that since she has two dogs and the rental market is awful right now, moving in with this guy is the best situation for her.
“I was so shocked that I just played the supportive friend role that I usually do- that she should do what’s best for her, and it’ll all be okay,” she said.
“I asked if she and [my ex] are together or being intimate, and she said, “Oh my gosh, no, of course not!” I asked if she feels unsafe around D, but she said no; she could even see herself being his roommate for a while, but she wants to move out.”
“I got home thinking I was okay but broke down when I tried to sleep. As I was thinking about it and talking to my family/friends, I’m realizing this is awful for both C and [my ex] to do. Not only is he my ex, and the breakup very recent, but it’s D’s close friend that he’s known for years.”
She decided to text C to request that they speak again, and she went over to C’s house to have another discussion about the living situation.
C made her sit in her car so they could talk freely without D overhearing, who she dumped, but C only mentioned to D that she was moving in with one of her friends. D has no clue that friend is his close friend.
She began by informing C that she’s so very disappointed in her for choosing to live with her ex-boyfriend.
She continued, pointing out that she was horrified that C would do something like this to her, which breaks her heart.
If the tables were turned, she never would do something like this to C. She then clarified that if C had been friends with her ex before she dated him, she might have felt differently about everything, but that’s not reality.
She gave C room to say something, anything, but C was quiet as a mouse. Eventually, C shut her down and called her a mean name before climbing out of her car.
“I broke down a bit but managed to drive to my mom’s for some hugs,” she added. “A few hours later, she texted me.”
“To paraphrase, she had a migraine and an awful day, and she felt I chided her like a child and had already decided she had done something wrong. She said how I spoke to her is unacceptable. She said that I was reassuring over text (true, she wanted me to tell her that everything would be OK, she has a lot of anxiety), but then I did a 180 from my initial reaction (true, I was definitely blindsided at first and being blindly supportive, and I admitted this).”
“She said I clearly didn’t intend to have a real conversation (but she wouldn’t say anything!). She said she always tried to consider my feelings, that’s why she asked if it was OK (despite already having the plan in motion?). She said I should be understanding that she has commitments (dogs, a place to give piano lessons) and requirements for a house and this is what she needs to do. It made me doubt myself for a minute, but this feels… super defensive and really gross.”
She believes she has every right to feel mad at C, and she doesn’t think she’ll bother replying to C’s insane text.
If she changes her mind, she won’t hide from C how angry she is. She’s not happy that the second she quit validating how C felt about everything, C turned on her.
She’s left wondering if C is right and if she truly is a bad friend for not wanting C to move in with her ex-boyfriend.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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