She Broke Off Her Engagement After Her Fiancé Called Her A Gold Digger In Front Of Her Parents And Said He Wanted A Traditional Wife
This 26-year-old woman’s family, which is Asian, has traditional values. Her dad owns a rice wine brewery, and her mom assists with business operations.
While her family is somewhat old-fashioned, she remembered that her mom and dad both contributed to housework during her childhood, and her dad never expected her mom to do it all. He always explained that he couldn’t support their family on his own, so her mom also worked.
Because of this, her dad never relied on her mom to do all the housework. Her parents always equally split housework in the same way they contributed financially to the household income. She met her fiancé, 29, on social media. They’ve been in a relationship for three years, and her fiancé proposed five months ago. Her fiancé is American and works in her home country.
“He always tells me he’s looking for a traditional woman and wants to date with marriage in mind. He said that women who can take care of a household and childrearing are admirable,” she said.
During these conversations, she always told her fiancé that she agreed women who chose to do housework and care for children were commendable. Her fiancé works at a small university, and she works at a hospital. They have enough money saved to purchase a home as long as her parents pitch in a bit. Since her parents wouldn’t approve, she and her fiancé haven’t started living together yet.
Her dad’s birthday was last week, and during the family celebration, everyone started talking about her and her fiancé’s upcoming marriage. Her fiancé mentioned that he worried they couldn’t afford to live on only his earnings, which made him feel self-conscious. In response, she said she could continue working after they married. She wouldn’t have an issue working after she and her fiancé married because, in her opinion, marriage is a partnership.
Later, her dad suggested she and her fiancé eventually take the reins of his brewery, and she loved this plan. However, her fiancé seemed unsure about owning the brewery and said she could just continue working at the hospital. As she and her fiancé continued discussing how their marriage would look, she said that she wanted him to pitch in with the housework because she would continue working.
“After I said that, he suddenly got irritated. He said that he had been telling me he was looking for a traditional woman and that now he had been ‘catfished’ since I don’t want to take care of all the house chores because I’d still be working,” she explained.
Every time her fiancé told her he was interested in marrying a woman who was “traditional,” she assumed he meant that he would also be a “traditional” man in a marriage and work as the sole breadwinner for the household.
jessica – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
If this were how their marriage would function, she’d be more comfortable taking on the housework and childcare if they chose to have kids. But since she would keep her job for the foreseeable future, she also expected her fiancé to do some household labor.
“But when I told him that, he said I was a gold digger and materialistic, like any other woman, even when I never once asked him to be the sole provider. He brought that up first. Mind you, I didn’t even let him pay for everything whenever we went out on a date (he paid for dinner, I paid for coffee and the movie),” she shared.
Considering all of this, including that her father suggested she and her fiancé take over his brewery so that they could more easily support themselves, she wondered how she was, in any way, a gold digger when her fiancé wasn’t offering up anything.
She was understandably furious, so she took off her engagement ring and placed it on the table before dumping her fiancé, explaining that if he hoped to have a traditional wife, he wouldn’t be a traditional enough husband.
When her fiancé called her a gold digger, she knew she didn’t want to put up with a partner who felt comfortable calling her names because she suggested equally splitting the housework during their future marriage.
Plus, it made her upset that her fiancé felt comfortable enough to insult her in front of her parents. If he felt comfortable name-calling her before their marriage, she predicted that he’d be even more disrespectful when they were married, and no one else was around.
She left her dad’s birthday party, and when she arrived back at her place, her fiancé sent her a text and apologized, claiming he hadn’t meant the terrible things he said about her. He asked if they could get together to talk things over, but she didn’t want to.
Her friends weighed in with their opinions after she told them what happened, and they thought she’d been overdramatic and broke up with her fiancé without thinking it through. In their view, she was a jerk because she rejected her fiancé’s suggestion of talking things out.
Her fiancé’s mom even pleaded with her to reconsider the breakup, accusing her of being immature. His mom even blamed the confrontation on cultural differences.
What advice would you give her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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