The Guy She’s Been Dating Just Told Her That He’s Overwhelmed And Feels Like She’s More Invested Than He Is
For the last several months, this 31-year-old woman has been dating a 30-year-old guy. Pretty recently, this guy has been a little unpredictable with her, so she decided to confront him about why he’s been so on and off.
She really wanted to get to the bottom of why he was acting differently than he has been, and what he said wasn’t what she wanted to hear.
“He told me that sometimes he feels like I’m much more sure about him than he is of me and that it makes him feel overwhelmed,” she explained.
“He also said I’m very willing to adapt and change and sacrifice but he isn’t, so it feels unfair to me.”
“It was surprising to me because aside from making plans for the next month or so, we really haven’t had conversations about long term or being each others’ “forever.”
She has not told him that she loves him, and he hasn’t said these words to her either. She has said on a couple of occasions that she’s having a fun time dating him, and she’s not trying to plan for the future right now.
So, she’s confused as to why he is treating her like she’s all in on this relationship for the rest of her life.
But, he still believes she’s holding him to high standards and he fears he will not be able to meet these at all.
She’s of the opinion that he’s just taking his own insecurities and fears and projecting them onto her and their connection, which isn’t fair.
Irina Schmidt – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
“I’m not naive – dated enough to know that all of this is enough to end things,” she said. “So, despite being really into him and us really enjoying our time together, I told him it was no problem, and I hope he finds what he’s looking for.”
“He’s still continuing to message me, though, and when I said, “You just told me you aren’t sure about me, so I’m not going to waste any more of your time,” he said, “I don’t know, is it bad of me to say that?”
“I don’t know where to go from here. On one hand, he’s acknowledging he probably won’t ever be what I need; on the other, he doesn’t want to let things end. I don’t know if I reply to his last message or if I begin no contact.”
She just feels awful having to end something that was going well simply because their feelings are different at this point in time.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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