He Turned Down His Ex-Girlfriend’s Marriage Proposal Because He Was Still Upset Over The Fact That She Rejected His Proposal A Month Earlier
This man and his now ex-girlfriend dated for three years before their recent breakup. They met at a conference seminar. While getting to know each other, they realized they worked in the same city at different companies and gave each other their phone numbers. They continued talking throughout the week-long conference and began going on dates once they returned to their hometown.
After dating for two and a half years, he was deeply in love and wanted to spend the rest of his life with his girlfriend. So, he purchased an engagement ring and organized a weekend trip to the city where they first met. He wanted the proposal to be special. Over the weekend, they went to shows and amazing restaurants, but his girlfriend unfortunately rejected his proposal.
He was understandably devastated, and they returned home after the failed proposal. Her refusal shocked him because he’d assumed they were on the same page. They hadn’t moved in together yet, but she stayed at his apartment between four and six nights weekly. She had a closet at his place, so it felt like they were moving their relationship forward.
In the following weeks, right after his girlfriend turned down his proposal, things felt awkward and strange. She continued staying at his place, but it took a while for the awkwardness to wear off. Finally, they did get to a better place, but their relationship wasn’t the same, and he didn’t feel as happy as he used to. He began noticing things about his girlfriend that irritated him.
“Before, I ignored it because she had so much going for her. But now, everything she did that wasn’t perfect was like fingernails on the chalkboard. It was not fair of me to look at her this way,” he said.
Since he knew it was unfair to feel so negatively toward his girlfriend and acknowledged that she was a wonderful woman worthy of a man who adored her, he dumped her. He packed his girlfriend’s belongings while she wasn’t around, and when she came over on a Friday, he broke up with her.
During the conversation, he explained that she was worthy of a better man than him, adding that lately, all he’s been able to think about was what was wrong with her instead of her amazing qualities. He assisted her with packing her belongings into her vehicle, and after she left, he walked back into his apartment and spent the entire weekend crying.
His ex-girlfriend didn’t contact him for a few weeks after the breakup, and he assumed that she was taking time to process it. He knew she most likely hadn’t seen the breakup coming. Eventually, her friends began reaching out to him and asked him why he dumped her. Some of his ex’s friends asked if he’d been having an affair or if he’d never been in love with her at all.
A few of her friends were incredibly hostile, and one of her friends asked him to hook up. He rejected her advances and was almost positive that her flirtations were a calculated move and a “test.” He didn’t want to get involved in any “drama.”
georgerudy – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual person
A month later, his ex-girlfriend called him and asked if he could come over to her place to talk. He wasn’t comfortable with that, but he planned to speak to her at a Starbucks.
“She had lost a bunch of weight and honestly didn’t look great. She said she had been overwhelmed when I asked her to marry me. She has never dated anyone who took her seriously, and she thought I felt the same as the other guys she had dated,” he explained.
As his ex-girlfriend talked, she told him her parents hadn’t had a healthy relationship, and marriage terrified her. Then, she proposed to him. It was strange, but he thought about it before answering. If he accepted, he could never have predicted that his marriage would begin after a woman he used to love proposed to him in Starbucks.
Ultimately, he apologized to his ex about how their relationship ended, but he couldn’t look at her how he used to before she turned down his proposal. He got his coffee to go and left. A couple of months ago, he began dating someone. Their relationship has been “comfortable” so far, but not as wonderful as the first couple of years with his ex.
While out and about, he saw his ex-girlfriend twice, and on one of those occasions, she was on a date with someone. He hoped she was moving forward with her life, but he soon realized that wasn’t the case.
“Her friends have been contacting me again, saying I need to give her another chance. That I didn’t consider her feelings and her past. She never talked to me about her past regarding other guys,” he shared.
During their relationship, he was thrilled that his ex didn’t discuss her previous relationships in detail. He was aware that she’d dated other men, but he believed her past relationships were irrelevant to their current relationship. She’d never told him about any of her ex-boyfriends or how they’d broken her heart. Finally, he told his ex’s friends to stop messaging him and blocked them.
Upon reflection, he wondered if it would have been better to learn about his ex’s dating history while they’d been in a relationship. He also wasn’t sure if he made the right decision when he rejected her marriage proposal. It could have been possible for them to start fresh and communicate more clearly. He feels awful because his ex still has feelings for him, but he doesn’t.
What advice would you give him?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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