A year before this 29-year-old woman got engaged to her 39-year-old fiancé, he informed her that he wanted to get a prenup.
She understands, and says that if she had the kind of money her fiancé has, she would absolutely push for a prenup.
She has $500,000 in regard to her own net worth and assets. She also has a wonderful job and no debt, yet her fiancé’s net worth is far greater than hers.
She never paid any attention to prenups until they got engaged, and her fiancé addressed the prenup again.
She did a bit of research on her own and figured if she has to spend her own money on a lawyer to review this prenup to protect her fiancé’s assets, she wants a bit of protection too; namely, an infidelity clause.
“My Dad had multiple affairs throughout his marriage to my mom. Her screams and sobs when she found out are burned into my memory,” she explained.
“…I think of it as a cathartic nod to the 18-year-old version of myself who saw my mom be cheated on as well as the aftermath of all the affairs.”
It’s not that she ever believes her fiancé could ever bring himself to cheat on her. The infidelity clause is more like an insurance policy for her and has nothing to really do with him.
Three months ago, they had another conversation about the prenup, and that’s when she brought up the infidelity clause.
That discussion was lengthy, but her fiancé said yes to including it in the paperwork. Back then, her fiancé’s lawyer was still in the middle of crafting the prenup.
Then yesterday evening, her fiancé said it was time for them to take a look at the prenup, and she replied that it looked fine to her after a quick look.
But he had left out the infidelity clause, and she pointed out that she would have her lawyer put it in there.
“When I brought this up, he got really upset and started to say things like, “This clause is just going to cause more back and forth with the lawyers. I don’t want to do that,” To which I responded, “Well, that’s why we would come up with the terms together, like how we went over the prenup terms before your lawyer drafted it.”
Her fiancé argued that they have to define what cheating means to them since she could accuse him of cheating if he ends up alone in a room with someone.
She felt blindsided by that, and it didn’t sound rational to her. She says it’s not like you can hurl accusations at someone for cheating; you need proof in divorce court.
Additionally, she would never falsely accuse anyone of cheating. She thought her fiancé was just coming up with excuses, but she couldn’t get past why he was upset.
They had talked about adding the infidelity clause months ago, and he agreed to that being in the paperwork.
Her fiancé maintained that he does not want that clause in there because he will never cheat on her, but adding it will make him think of it.
“I understand that your partner asking for an infidelity clause could feel [bad], emotional, or like your partner doesn’t trust you,” she continued.
“I think only people who have been in my shoes could be asked to add it to a prenup and shrug it off without reading too much into it, emotionally.”
“It’s important to me to add it. I have to pay for a lawyer regardless, and I would like my request to be understood and respected in the same way I respected his request for a prenup that protects his assets.”
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
