Have you ever met a man who had to speak to his best friend nightly and kept up a nonstop stream of communication with them at all hours, 365 days a year?
A year ago, this woman’s husband got super close to one of his female coworkers, and now they’re best friends outside of the office.
Her husband’s new best friend is married and has a child, which is part of the reason why she’s thinking there’s nothing more to what’s going on than a strong friendship.
But that being said, she’s jealous of the relationship.
“My husband talks about her like she’s the most amazing person in the world. We’ve been married 11 years, and he hasn’t spoken about another woman like this the entire time or gotten close to another woman like this either,” she explained.
“We moved earlier this year, but they stayed in touch, and they basically text each other every day. Her husband is aware and is okay with it, as far as I know.”
“I don’t believe he’s cheating, at least physically, and he’s been upfront with me from the start when they started getting close about how he really enjoys having a friend like her since he never had a close/best friend before.”
She has a childhood best friend, and she couldn’t picture living life without her, so she understands the joy that a bestie brings. She also appreciates the importance of having friends other than your spouse.
However, the way her husband is acting over his best friend is throwing her off, and she’s grown envious of how close her husband has gotten to this woman.
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Her husband talks to his best friend nonstop. They text every single day, do video calls, and send audio messages. Her husband used to never be on his phone like this, and right now, it’s glued to his hand, and he constantly checks it for new messages.
“He doesn’t try to hide it, although he’s been taking the calls privately ever since I told him I’m not comfortable with them talking so much,” she added.
“The frequency hasn’t decreased since I told him how I feel, but now they’re done more privately. This made me sad because I expressed my boundaries, but he refuses to take [them] into account because he enjoys talking to her and being her friend.”
“We’ve had several talks about this, and every time it leads to arguments and nothing changes. I don’t want to push it anymore because I’m tired of fighting, and in the end, he has done nothing to make me believe he’s cheating, and he’s been honest with what they talk about, etc.”
She tries to reassure herself that she shouldn’t be so bent out of shape over this friendship, but it’s not helping. She really is struggling with her insecurity and jealousy.
She desperately wants not to find her husband’s friend problematic, and she’s left wondering how she can quit being so upset, especially since her husband hasn’t previously given her a reason to suspect him of cheating.
A healthy marriage doesn’t have room for a husband to invest this much emotional energy into someone else, period, the end. The fact that he’s getting secretive instead of listening to her concerns points directly to some sort of affair.
Otherwise, why would he need that secrecy? Something is deeply wrong here, and it’s time for a major confrontation. If my spouse put another woman ahead of me, I would separate immediately.
She should absolutely stop convincing herself that what’s going on between her husband and his bestie is normal, because it’s not on any planet.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
