He Forgave His Cheating Wife When She Signed A Postnup, But Now That He Knows She Lied, He Wants A Divorce
Five years ago, this 35-year-old man and his 32-year-old wife, Ella, tied the knot, and they have been with one another for seven years in total.
Two years ago, Ella sadly cheated on him with one of her coworkers, Bill. Cheating has always been a dealbreaker for him, so he resolved to divorce Ella.
But Ella worked hard to revive his trust in her, and a couple of other reasons led to him remaining in their marriage.
First of all, Ella came clean about her affair on her own. It wasn’t that he discovered the cheating and made her confess.
Second, Ella cheated only one time, sleeping with Bill at a housewarming party. The fling with Bill was over and done in a single evening, according to Ella.
Third, as soon as Ella told him the truth, she quit her job of her own volition. She was hoping that proved to him she was ready to enforce boundaries. He told Ella not to quit her job, as he was worried that would mean he would have to pay her more alimony, given her unemployment.
Finally, he cheated back when he was 19 and in college. He ended up kissing another girl, but his girlfriend forgave him for his mistake. It made him feel terribly hypocritical for failing to forgive Ella, even though what she did to him was way worse than what he did to his college girlfriend.
Taking all of that into consideration, coupled with Ella’s genuine show of remorse, he stayed married to Ella.
Their relationship over the years has been wonderful, and Ella’s the woman for him. He asked her for one thing in order to move on: she had to say yes to a postnup.
Emil L/peopleimages.com – stock.adobe.com – illustrative purposes only, not the actual people
“She enthusiastically agreed,” he explained. “The postnup isn’t overly harsh, in my opinion; aside from affirming that our pre-marital assets won’t go into the settlement in the event of a divorce, it also included an infidelity clause with the penalty of the cheater forfeiting our jointly owned home, the car, and alimony in the event of a divorce.”
“The balance would also be split 60/40 in favor of the cheated spouse rather than 50/50. We both had independent legal advice when this was drafted and signed.”
“Fast forward to last month when I was contacted on Facebook by Alice, the wife of my wife’s affair partner. She had tracked me down by going through Ella’s social media. She told me that she had caught her husband, Bill, cheating on her and discovered their affair from two years ago after going through his electronic devices.”
Alice questioned him about the affair, and he responded that he was aware of what went down at the housewarming party. However, Alice revealed to him that she was going to divorce Bill, as he and Ella had conducted their affair for five months.
Ella lied to him; the fling wasn’t finished in one night; it dragged on and on. Ella and Bill hooked up more than ten different times.
This new information is crushing, as Ella deliberately picked Bill over him, so he’s left feeling foolish for believing Ella. Over the weekend, he brought Alice’s evidence to Ella, and she acknowledged it was the truth.
Apparently, Ella felt the need to lie to his face, as she knew he wouldn’t have forgiven her if he knew the whole story.
“She’s been trying to convince me that it’s in the past, we’ve made two years of progress since, and it doesn’t matter whether it was once or ten times,” he said.
“She argues that her confession showed true remorse. But my current thought is that the omission shows that even in her confession, her main concern was protecting herself rather than respecting me as a spouse by giving me the agency to make a fully informed choice—not that different from never telling me in the first place.”
“I am now strongly considering divorce again and relying on the prenup for a more favorable divorce settlement. She wants us to go back [to] couple’s therapy, but how would that even work now that I trust her even less than I did 2 years ago?”
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