7 Signs Your Partner’s A Narcissist
Are You Worried That Your Partner’s A Narcissist?
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. If your partner is constantly talking about themselves, dismissing your feelings, or seeking admiration, you might start to wonder if something deeper is going on.
But while the term “narcissist” gets thrown around loosely, especially on social media, true narcissism goes beyond self-absorption. It’s a complex personality disorder that impacts how someone thinks, feels, and interacts with others.
Here’s The Definition Of A Narcissist
Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is defined by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-V) as a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy.
It also outlines 9 criteria for NPD but specifies that someone only has to meet five in order to be a narcissist. Some of the criteria include a high sense of self-importance, preoccupation with dreams of unending power, success, and beauty, entitlement, a craving for excessive admiration, interpersonal exploitive behavior, envy of others or the belief that others envy them, lack of empathy, and arrogant attitudes.
Here Are 7 Red Flags Your Partner Could Be A Narcissist
People with NPD often manipulate those around them in order to maintain their sense of superiority, making relationships with them emotionally exhausting and sometimes damaging. Still, it can be tough to tell if your partner is just self-centered or truly exhibiting narcissistic traits.
Remember that only a mental health professional can diagnose NPD. Nonetheless, recognizing the warning signs can help you better understand your relationship and figure out your next steps, so here are seven warning signs your partner might be a narcissist.
1. You Were Instantly Charmed
At the start of your relationship, everything might’ve felt too good to be true. Your partner gave you tons of compliments, executed grand gestures, and had deep conversations that made you think you’d met “the one.”
Unfortunately, narcissistic partners often sweep people off their feet by using excessive flattery early on. It’s not genuine love: it’s called “love bombing” and is used to quickly lock down your admiration and devotion.
2. They Take Up All The Air In The Room
Conversations with narcissists can be really one-sided, with them dominating discussions and steering every topic back to themselves. They might boast about their achievements, exaggerate their successes, or dismiss your thoughts.
Their need to seem superior usually means they’re not interested in your experiences unless they can somehow use them to reinforce their own sense of self-importance. This may leave you feeling unheard and like your only role is to be your partner’s audience.
3. They Require A Ton Of Praise
Even though narcissists can seem super confident, their self-worth is typically fragile (and heavily reliant on external validation). They are always fishing for compliments, and when they feel unappreciated, they may get irritated or withdraw.
Keeping up with a narcissist’s need for praise can be exhausting since they regularly expect you to feed their ego. So, if your partner needs consistent reassurance and reacts badly when they don’t get it, their self-esteem may be much weaker than it appears.
4. They Have A Lot Of Burned Bridges
A history of ended friendships, work conflicts, and strained relationships with family members can also be a red flag. Narcissists struggle to maintain lasting connections since their self-centered behavior usually creates tension and resentment over time.
However, when talking to you, they might speak badly about their former friends, blame everyone else for the failed relationships, or even discourage you from spending time with your own loved ones. If your partner is always insisting they were the victim, it’s worth questioning if they’re actually the problem.
5. They Can Never Be “Wrong” Or Apologize
It can feel impossible to reach a resolution after getting into a disagreement with a narcissist because, in their mind, they’re never wrong. They may refuse to own up to their mistakes, twist situations to, again, seem like the victim, or dismiss your perspective.
It’s not fair to always be the one compromising or defending your point of view. Realize that the inability to take responsibility could be a sign of narcissistic behavior in your partner.
6. You Feel Gaslit
A narcissistic partner might try to distort reality and make you doubt your own perception of events. This could look like denying things they’ve said or done, twisting your words or taking them out of context, or pushing blame onto you to avoid taking any accountability.
Gaslighting is a powerful and dangerous tool that narcissists use to hold onto control, and over time, you could start to question your own instincts or sanity.
7. You’re Always Walking On Eggshells
Last but not least, when you’re in a relationship with a narcissist, it can feel like you’re living in a state of constant uncertainty. You never know what’s going to set them off, especially because even minor issues tend to trigger either big reactions or the silent treatment.
This unpredictability can cause fear and anxiety to fester, making you feel as if you have to adjust your behavior just to keep the peace. In the long run, the pattern may cause you to lose sight of your own priorities and needs.
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