His Wife Cheated Before Their Wedding, And Only Told Him A Month After They Walked Down The Aisle, But He Can’t Let Go Of His Resentment
This 42-year-old man and his 40-year-old wife got married eighteen years ago, and they have been with one another for more than two decades.
They have six kids together, and right after they welcomed their firstborn, his wife cheated on him (and this was prior to their wedding).
He had a bad feeling that his wife was sneaking around way back when, but his wife denied that she had done anything wrong, so he believed her.
Right before they walked down the aisle, he point-blank questioned his wife about whether she wanted to share any information with him.
He specifically prodded her about the situation that had him guessing she was cheating, but his wife still maintained her innocence.
He trusted her, they got hitched, and only then did the truth come out.
“A month later, she confessed she had slept with the guy. She said it meant nothing and didn’t want it to affect the future, so she kept it to herself,” he explained.
“That hit me hard. I felt robbed of the chance to make an informed decision about marriage. I didn’t react well. Over the years, I’ve become withdrawn at times and resentful.”
“I’ve tried to work through it, but it’s difficult when she doesn’t want to talk about it anymore. She feels I’m holding on to something that should have been let go years ago, and that hurts her. But for me, it still feels unresolved.”
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He doesn’t have any closure, so his wife’s infidelity is an open wound for him, even after all of this time. Recently, he’s been feeling exceptionally down about the whole thing.
He’s exhausted on an emotional and mental level, and he envisions a better life for not only himself, but for his kids and wife too.
It’s hard for him to convey his feelings to his wife, as when he does, she blames him or gets him to stop talking entirely.
“I’m not looking to point fingers here. I’m trying to process, to understand my own emotions and find ways to move forward,” he continued.
“If anyone has dealt with a long-term betrayal that came out later, how did you work through it? How do you learn to let go of something that was buried and came back to hit you long after it should’ve been addressed?”
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