7 Signs Your Partner Is Lazy
What’s Worse Than Being With Someone Who Doesn’t Contribute?
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. There’s nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone who doesn’t pull their weight. The dynamic will quickly turn one-sided, with you feeling more like a parent than a partner.
Obviously, this is unfair for a multitude of reasons. Maybe you’ve had to take on the bulk of responsibilities around the house, become your partner’s own personal therapist, or start making all the decisions.
Aside from putting unnecessary stress and pressure on you, your partner’s lack of effort can also make you feel seriously alone in your own relationship.
Here Are 7 Signs Your Partner Is Lazy
The good news is that, sometimes, external factors are at play. Perhaps burnout, stress, or other life circumstances are causing your partner to act and contribute differently than they normally do, and this temporary shift could change.
Other times, though, people are just apathetic or unmotivated, and these traits only intensify when they enter a relationship with someone who continually takes on more of their burden. So, to protect yourself from getting taken advantage of, here are seven signs your partner is simply lazy.
1. Recreation Always Comes Before Responsibilities
Part of growing up is truly understanding what we “need” versus “want.” And anyone who doesn’t recognize the difference will have an incredibly tough time achieving any goals.
For instance, does your partner often confuse their desire to play video games every night after work with a “need,” leaving you to cook dinner and put your kids to bed by yourself? Or do they claim they have to go golfing for five-plus hours every single Saturday when they know you’re trying to complete repairs around the house?
Recreational activities and personal time are both important in relationships, but there has to be a balance that doesn’t sacrifice productive tasks in the process. And if your partner continually puts relaxation over their responsibilities, it suggests they aren’t prioritizing your relationship.
2. They Don’t Shoulder Your Emotions
Laziness doesn’t just refer to physical effort around the house; it can also show up in how your partner fails to fulfill your emotional needs.
Part of being in a relationship is the ability to rely on your significant other when times are tough. Yet, you might be there for them all the time, and when you actually need them, they shrug off your feelings, act like your emotions aren’t valid, or disappear altogether.
It takes work to be truly empathetic and reliable. And if your partner isn’t willing to expand their emotional toolbox for the sake of being supportive, it sends a message that they’re either afraid of vulnerability or just lazy.
3. Your Partner Uses Weaponized Incompetence
In my opinion, one of the most infuriating indicators of laziness is weaponized incompetence. This term has gotten a lot of buzzes on social media in recent years, and it essentially references when someone intentionally messes up a task or chore to get out of doing it again in the future.
For instance, let’s say you ask your partner to unload the dishwasher. Maybe they wound up putting all the plates and bowls in the wrong cabinets, or they shattered some of your favorite mugs. Afterward, they might claim that they can’t “properly” do it, so you have to take over that chore moving forward.
Mistakes are part of life, as is learning. If your partner tries to say they “can’t” or “don’t know how” to do something and continuously pushes those responsibilities off on you, it’s weaponized incompetence due to laziness.
4. You Have To Make All The Decisions
To put it simply, life is scary. But when you’re in a relationship, you’re not supposed to be left to your own devices and expected to make decisions entirely alone.
Of course, everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. While one person might be better at scheduling, another is more skilled in financial management. Either way, though, couples have to find a balance that works for them and allows for an even distribution of decision-making.
So, if you have to decide literally everything solo, from what to cook for dinner to whether to refinance your mortgage or sign your kid up for a new daycare, it’s unhealthy and unsustainable.
5. They Resist Growth
No one ever really likes change since it forces us to step outside our comfort zones and try something unfamiliar. Even so, a partner who continually resists growth because they want everything to “stay the same” will just keep your relationship stagnant.
It’s impossible to evolve as a couple when individuals aren’t actively working on their own self-improvement. Plus, you’ll probably find that people who fight growth also lack follow-through. And you deserve a partner who doesn’t give up or quit when things get tough.
6. Your Partner Doesn’t Compromise
No two partners are ever exactly alike, which is why compromise is crucial for relationships that last. You two are bound to disagree, and you’ll both have to make concessions to keep each other happy in the long run.
Still, compromise takes effort, something that lazy people don’t exactly enjoy. That’s why you may frequently find yourself bending over backward to meet your partner’s expectations and make them happy. Yet, when you really want something, they don’t reciprocate or give you that same respect.
It’s even worse when this dynamic becomes a pattern in your relationship, and suddenly, your partner starts to expect you to cater to their every whim without any effort needed on their end.
7. They Aren’t Proactive
Finally, emotionally mature adults are proactive, whether they’re in relationships or not. No one is going to walk into your house on a Sunday and tell you to clean up for the week ahead or pay off your credit card at the end of the month.
However, your partner might need that kind of prompting from you. And without you telling them to complete basic responsibilities, they never take any action.
It’s a major red flag when you can’t rely on your partner to manage themselves and kick-start their own tasks, even when they’re feeling unmotivated or tired. It suggests they’ll fail to fulfill your needs and work toward your joint relationship goals unless you keep hounding them, which, again, puts you in a parental role instead of a partner.
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