5 Mistakes You Can Make On A First Date That Mean There Won’t Be A Second
First Dates Are Basically Auditions
The following column is the opinion and analysis of the writer. You’re both sizing each other up to see if there’s potential for a repeat performance. It’s that mix of excitement, curiosity, and please don’t let me spill something on myself anxiety. And while a little awkwardness is expected, there’s a fine line between being endearingly nervous and leaving them with a mental note to never do this again.
A first date is your chance to show who you are when you’re putting in some effort. You don’t have to be perfect, but you do have to be present, respectful, and a decent conversational partner.
Unfortunately, certain slip-ups, whether it’s dominating the conversation, making the night feel like a therapy session about your ex, or acting like your phone is the most interesting person in the room, can be deal-breakers before the check even arrives.
Here Are 5 Mistakes You Can Make On A First Date That Mean There Won’t Be A Second
The truth is, a lot of people decide by the end of the night (or sooner) whether they’d like to see someone again. So while chemistry is unpredictable, avoiding these obvious blunders can at least keep you in the running.
Because nothing’s worse than getting home, feeling like it went well… and realizing you’ve been quietly blocked before you’ve even had the chance to text “I had a great time.”
If you want to keep your dating streak alive, here are five first-date mistakes that can pretty much guarantee you won’t be seeing each other again.
1. Making the Conversation All About You
Sharing your story is part of getting to know each other, but if the night turns into you talking non-stop, it stops feeling like a date and starts feeling like a lecture.
If they’re sitting there nodding without getting a chance to chime in, they’ll probably leave thinking you weren’t actually curious about them at all.
2. Being Rude To Service Staff
This is the fastest way to tank a date, no matter how charming you think you’re being. Snapping at the server, complaining excessively, or failing to say “please” and “thank you” tells your date exactly how you treat people when you think it doesn’t matter. Spoiler: it matters a lot.
3. Bringing Up Your Ex… Repeatedly
A quick, casual mention of a past relationship is fine. Sometimes it’s unavoidable. But if your ex’s name keeps popping up in every story, your date will assume you’re not over them.
And no one wants to sign up to be the rebound character in someone else’s breakup recovery arc.
4. Checking Your Phone Constantly
A quick glance if you’re expecting an important call is one thing, but scrolling through Instagram while they’re talking?
That’s a neon sign saying, I’d rather be anywhere else. On a first date, your attention is currency, and if you can’t stay present for an hour or two, you’ve basically told them there’s no point in a sequel.
5. Drinking Way Too Much
A drink or two to loosen up is normal. But if you’re slurring your words, oversharing, or telling the same story three times before dessert, your date’s biggest takeaway will be that you don’t have control over yourself.
First dates are about making a good impression, not making them wonder if they’ll need to help you get home safely.
The Bottom Line
First dates aren’t about being perfect, they’re about being real. But there’s a big difference between being authentic and being careless.
Show you’re present, respectful, and genuinely interested, and you’ll give them every reason to want that second date.
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