Everyone builds a version of themselves they want to be, but some people build it so convincingly, they forget it’s not true. We all curate our lives a little, but what happens when someone fabricates their entire past? Are they deserving of understanding and forgiveness?
This 38-year-old woman has spent the last fifteen years married to her 40-year-old husband, Alex, so you would think she knows him pretty much inside and out.
Something that she always found attractive about Alex is that he grew up in poverty in a tiny little town in the middle of nowhere, yet he managed to overcome his rough childhood, worked throughout college, and turned into quite a successful guy.
The fact that Alex is full of resilience is why she initially fell in love with him. Alex maintained that his mom passed away when he was 12 and his dad kicked him out of the house at 16, and he never spoke to his dad again after that.
Two weeks ago, she attended a regional conference for her job and ended up traveling to a city close to Alex’s hometown in an interesting twist of fate.
Curiosity got the best of her, and so she did a little investigating to find Alex’s childhood house. She thought it would be a special surprise if she went to snap a photo to show Alex when she got home.
When she located Alex’s house, she was shocked to see that it was…completely enormous. So, did Alex really grow up disadvantaged?
Well, she was able to talk to one of the neighbors, who had known Alex’s family for close to forty years, and they told her a starkly different story than the one Alex says is true.
“The neighbor told me that Alex grew up in that mansion, that his father was a wealthy lawyer, and that Alex attended exclusive private schools his whole life,” she explained.
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
“He had everything handed to him. The story of poverty, the struggles, the hard work to put himself through school, it’s all a lie. I have not told him I know. We’ve been sleeping in the same bed, but every time he tells a story about his ‘childhood struggle,’ I feel sick.”
“Who am I married to? If he could lie about the first 25 years of his life and keep that lie going for 15 years of marriage, what else is fake? I feel like I don’t know the real man, and the hero I thought I married is just a sheltered kid who wanted a better story.”
She’s not sure that she can overcome what she discovered, and she’s worried that bringing it to light will ruin their family.
It sounds to me like Alex thought the only way to be viewed as lovable was to pretend he didn’t grow up in privilege. I think there has to be something more to Alex’s story, because people rarely lie about major topics without a good reason.
I think she should just sit down and talk to Alex. Also, remember, not everyone who grows up rich has it easy, so he very well could have had a sad upbringing amid all that money.
What advice do you have for her?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
