There’s this unavoidable stage of parenting where your kid starts making their own money, and it’s gone the second it hits their hand.
But those habits can turn into real problems later, since teenagers don’t see budgeting as setting themselves up for the future; they view it as you killing the vibe.
This mom is stuck watching her daughter burn through every dollar she earns, trying to help in a way that doesn’t make her the villain, and realizing there’s no painless way to teach a kid how money actually works.
This 33-year-old woman and her 35-year-old husband have two children, a three-year-old boy and a 15-year-old girl. Not so long ago, her daughter got her first job at a fast-food restaurant close to their house, and she was thrilled about bringing home a paycheck.
Her daughter earns about $200 with each check and has been working for several months now, and she quickly spends her money like crazy. Her daughter buys silly things, and her paycheck is completely gone within days.
“She puts a lot of it towards digital costumes and upgrades on games, then the rest usually gets spent on random candy and snacks she picks up every time she goes in a store, even though she already has a pile of them in her room. Many DoorDash orders as well,” she explained.
“I’ve talked to her a few times about budgeting, and she always just says nothing and nods her head, then continues the same spending habits. It concerns me because it’ll build bad habits for her future.”
“She does have a savings account we already set up for her, but it’s completely dry besides the money we initially gave her to save. And all while buying these unnecessary things, she’s complaining about wanting new clothes and asking me to buy them.”
Her daughter will complain about clothes that cost $50 as being too pricey, but the reality is she could easily buy that if she quit going to the convenience store so much.
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She tried to help her daughter understand how to save her money, but that hasn’t worked. So, she informed her daughter that she will be charging her rent from now on, and it will be 30% of every paycheck.
She knows this number is realistic for adults spending money on rent, and she’s going to put her daughter’s rent money in a locked account that she will give her daughter access to when she turns 18.
This greatly upset her daughter, who argued that it wasn’t fair of her to charge her rent. Her husband reluctantly gave her his approval, but she thinks she’s doing what’s best for her daughter in the long run.
For the last two paychecks, she’s withheld rent money as promised, and her daughter has been nonstop complaining about being broke and not being able to pay for anything she wants. Her daughter went so far as to threaten to quit her job.
She’s tried to get her daughter to see that when she graduates from high school, she will have a few thousand dollars she can use, but her daughter doesn’t understand.
“My husband is now pushing me to just stop and let her use her money as she wants. He says she’s a kid, and she should have an opportunity to basically throw all her money away,” she continued.
“I kind of get that, but we don’t exactly come from money. We don’t have a lot to help her with. Building these good spending habits and getting her a savings account is me trying to teach her and give her a leg up in life.”
“Am I wrong for charging her in the first place? And should I continue to?”
I think she’s being smart in trying to teach her daughter the value of money and the importance of saving! Of course, her daughter is young and impulsive and doesn’t see this, but one day, she’ll be grateful.
It’s not like she’s making her daughter save all of her money; she’s still allowing her to throw it away on ridiculous purchases, just not her whole paycheck amount, which is wise.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
