I believe it’s reasonable to assume that if you go out on more than one date with someone, they have to be somewhat interested in you. But how would you feel if you went on more than 13 dates with a person who then confessed to you that they don’t even like you?
This 30-year-old woman has spent the last two and a half months seeing a 27-year-old guy. They have been on over 13 dates together, and everything seemed to be going great between them.
“We went on 13+ dates (bowling, comedy show, mini golf), spent a lot of time together, were intimate, watched movies together, hung out at each other’s places, and I had met some of his friends/he also met mine,” she explained.
“From my perspective, it felt like something was naturally progressing. Recently, we were lying in bed together after going to the movies, and I asked if I could meet his family for his upcoming Birthday in 3 weeks.”
“Instead of saying something like ‘I’m not ready for that,’ he said: ‘I don’t like you.’ Then he followed it with: ‘I thought you realized I didn’t like you.'”
She was blindsided but managed to ask him why he never thought to mention this to her. He actually countered by asking if she really wanted him to tell her that.
He went on to say he definitely was not obsessed with her and repeatedly announced that he was unsure of her. She got up to put her clothes back on, and he blurted out that they could take things one day at a time from now on.
Before she left, he insisted that he was a wonderful man who did the right thing by not leading her on, but that’s not how she views things. She thinks he gave her mixed signals.
“I wasn’t expecting him to be obsessed with me, but after 13+ dates, I thought there was at least mutual interest and potential for something more,” she continued.
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“The part that hurt the most was when I left. He didn’t say bye or anything. I looked back, and he was just standing there watching me leave. I ended up unfollowing him on social media, and he hasn’t even noticed.”
“Am I wrong for feeling like he kept me around because he enjoyed the connection, but never actually intended to progress things? Or did I genuinely miss obvious signs?”
Ew, this sounds to me like he was definitely using her. I would not accept his offer to take this day by day. She should block him and find someone who isn’t going to selfishly string her along like this.
She’s right, because after investing over 13 dates into a person, you should absolutely see a future with them, and if you don’t even like them, you should never get to that point; you should do them the courtesy of calling it off sooner so you don’t waste their time.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
