Marriage is supposed to be a partnership, but that idea falls apart fast when one person is building a shared life and the other is playing landlord with backup plans.
He happily pitched in financially for a house his wife legally kept to herself. Now that she’s cheated and the marriage is over, her side of the family is outraged that he’s not swooping in to bail her out with his wallet. But how much does someone actually owe the person who ruined their marriage with infidelity?
Prior to this man’s wedding, his in-laws informed him that they had saved up their hard-earned money to give his wife a downpayment to use to purchase a house, and they said he would not be on the deed or anything like that.
His in-laws helped his wife buy that house as a wedding gift just for her, and not for him. They then said he had to sign this crazy prenup, which he was fine with, as he hired his own lawyer to make sure he had his own set of protections.
“After we got married, I contributed to the expenses of our household 50/50. Mortgage and everything. It was a little more than I paid in rent and utilities, but I figured we were building a future together,” he explained.
“I make a decent living as a welder, and I do not own a lot of stuff. I have a truck, a welding lid, a laptop, and some clothes. Before I met my wife, I lived at Airbnbs and all-inclusive resorts.”
“I work four weeks on and get two weeks off. It didn’t make sense to rent a house that could sit empty for a month at a time.”
Now, he’s given his wife money to buy furniture and renovate the house. One time, he helped his wife buy a fancy couch, so he gave her half of the money, and then his wife paid for the whole thing on her credit card so she could get points back.
Sadly, he just discovered that his wife has been cheating on him with her ex while he’s away for work. He’s not into forgiveness or trying to win a woman who isn’t faithful, so he knew he was done with her after that.
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Following his latest work trip, he came home to an Airbnb instead of the house his wife owns. He then found a lawyer and filed for divorce.
Then, he went back to work, and he won’t be back in town until after New Year’s Day, so his plan is to stay at an all-inclusive resort like he used to do.
He has not given his wife any money for household expenses or the mortgage since he discovered her infidelity.
“The problem is that she didn’t use the money I gave her to pay down the mortgage or her credit card bill. She blew it on other stuff. So now she is in a bind,” he said.
“My money made her lifestyle possible. By just leaving and not engaging, she is kind of [in a bad place]. But there is nothing there for me anymore. We don’t even have a dog like I wanted because she would have had to care for them while I was away.”
“So all I left behind was a suit I only bought for our wedding, some gym clothes, and my dress shoes, once again for the wedding. She, her family, and her friends are all over me to help her during our divorce. I have no obligation to do so, though. And after our divorce, even less so.”
He can easily live out of a backpack and a suitcase, and he doesn’t have any major expenses beyond parking for his truck and housing himself when he’s home from work.
His mom is on his wife’s side, not his, and thinks he’s putting her in a tough situation while doling out severe punishment. He can’t understand why his mom would do this, especially since his mom lived through her own toxic divorce.
Regardless, he’s left wondering if he is a jerk for not wanting to help his wife pay her bills.
I think he can let his wife’s new man help pay her bills if she’s struggling that hard! Leaving her and not providing her with any more money is the wisest thing he can do in this scenario. I don’t believe that he owes her a dime.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
