I truly believe that there are some choices we make in life that there is no coming back from, no fixing, no spinning to make it look better than it is.
His wife made an astoundingly poor choice, and yet, is blaming him for destroying the stability their kids used to have, so he’s wondering if keeping the kids away from her during her downward spiral is the right thing to do.
This man’s wife left him and their home in order to kick off a romantic relationship with their foster son, who is older than 18 and has signed himself out of the system. His wife and foster son have a 17-year age gap between them.
He’s spent the last 10 years with his wife, whereas they have only known their foster son for a handful of months. Their foster son is mentally abusive towards his wife and acts like a child.
This kid does not have a car, and he can’t hold down a job. He also has gotten back in contact with his biological family members, who are dealers, addicts, and not good people.
Adding to the insanity, his wife previously worked in the foster care system and knows better than to have inappropriate contact with any kids under their care, and there obviously was an overlap there.
“He’s been very possessive of her since they started that relationship, and when he threatened to let the secret out, she attempted [to take her own life],” he explained.
“I found out about the relationship in the hospital when she was released. We made plans to sell the house, move back in with her parents, and commit to therapy.”
“She left the house within 2 days and was homeless with him for a few weeks. I immediately filed for emergency custody of our children and protection against them.”
Sign up for Chip Chick’s newsletter and get stories like this delivered to your inbox.
Recently, the house sold and he split up the profits with his wife. He’s currently living with his wife’s mom and dad, along with their kids, while she’s staying with her sister.
His wife’s sister has generously gone above and beyond to help his wife spend weekends with their kids, which is when she has visitation.
He has told his wife that they can share custody evenly if she decides to no longer be with their foster son, and it seemed to him she was making progress, so he brought that up to her.
However, his wife has still been seeing this kid and got into a physical confrontation with her own sister regarding this! He has since discovered that this kid has also put his hands on his wife and is still possessive and controlling.
His wife’s sister understandably kicked her out after their fight, and his wife is homeless and going off the deep end all over again.
Their kids don’t know the details of what’s been happening, but they are aware that things are not good, as their lives changed in an instant.
He has been searching for a new house to buy to give them more stability, but his daughter said they should keep living with their grandma, so the kids are very happy with their accommodations.
But his wife is accusing him of ruining the lives of their kids, when clearly, she did that all on her own with her selfishness and impulsiveness.
“My ‘wife’ just wants her kids back and thinks it’s dumb she can’t have them alone and promises not to bring them when she sees her 19-year-old boyfriend,” he added.
“Her boyfriend chased her down in a Publix store and assaulted her because he thought she was meeting me to [hook up]. [Am I the jerk] for keeping full custody?”
There’s no version of reality where you walk out on your family to hook up with your foster kid and then get to act shocked that you lost custody.
Actions have consequences, and that’s not so complicated. And being temporarily homeless with your barely-adult boyfriend is just proof you still don’t get it.
He needs to keep his kids as far away from his wife as possible, because she’s wildly unstable. He says his wife has never been mean to the kids, but given her track record and considering her homelessness, she shouldn’t be left alone with them.
Time for him to file for divorce and make sure the kids end up with him, unless she can prove she’s ready to get the help she so desperately needs.
What do you think?
You can read the original post below.
By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
