It’s hard to find the fortitude to pull it together in the face of a tragedy, especially if there’s a child involved. If you were suddenly thrust into the role of a single parent, something you weren’t prepared to be, would you hang on to your child or give them to family members who could provide them with stability?
This 26-year-old man’s girlfriend devastatingly died during childbirth due to some complications, meaning he’s now raising their daughter as a single dad.
He wasn’t anticipating such a tragic twist in his love story, but this is his new normal. Throughout the first few weeks without his girlfriend, he dealt with her funeral and cared for his little girl.
It didn’t take long for it to hit him that he was in over his head. It was too difficult for him to grieve and be a parent. He couldn’t sleep at night, his head was all jumbled, and just waking up in the morning to persevere wasn’t making him dad of the year.
“My girlfriend’s parents stepped in and offered to care for my daughter temporarily. They’re stable, experienced, and deeply invested in her,” he explained.
“She’s been with them for a while now, and she’s thriving. I’m still involved, I visit regularly, contribute financially, and have a say in decisions, but the day-to-day responsibility isn’t on me right now. The longer this goes on, the more I’ve had to be honest with myself.”
“I love my daughter, but I’m not sure I’m in the best position to be a full-time single parent, at least not anytime soon. Her grandparents can give her consistency, a built-in support system, and a calm home that I can’t fully offer right now.”
He’s currently evaluating if he should give his girlfriend’s mom and dad full custody of his daughter. He feels this is the best for his daughter, and he can still be a constant in her life.
He doesn’t want to dump his kid, but he does want her to have a stable home, and that’s not something he can provide at this point.
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As for his daughter’s grandparents, they have mentioned that they are happy to keep her on a temporary or permanent basis.
Many people have accused him of being a deplorable dad for wanting to give his daughter away to her grandparents, and they insist a true parent couldn’t dream of doing this.
There are others, however, who think it’s selfless for him to do what’s going to benefit his daughter the most, and he shouldn’t keep on playing dad when he’s not ready to pull it off.
“I’m not running from responsibility. I’m trying to make a clear-headed decision about my daughter’s future, not my pride,” he concluded.
Such a tough call for him to make, and an enormous decision! If there’s a remote possibility he will regret giving her up in a couple of years, I’m not sure assigning custody to her grandparents is the right move.
It would be traumatic for his daughter to have to go from living with them to living with him after a large amount of time. If he doesn’t feel there’s going to be remorse on his end, then yes, he should allow his daughter’s grandparents to have her.
For right now, he should just sit and collect his thoughts without jumping to make a choice, since there’s no rush to do so.
What advice do you have for him? Do you think that giving his daughter up shows he’s a responsible parent, or is it just the opposite? Can he be a great dad from a distance, or is his physical presence the only thing that matters?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
