If you were engaged to someone who was saving themself for marriage, only to find out they hooked up with someone else while you were on a break that involved not doing that, how would you feel?
This 28-year-old man and his 29-year-old fiancée have been with one another for three years, and they were friends prior to dating.
He considers his fiancée his best friend, and they make a great team. But last December, his fiancée requested a break, as she felt like she didn’t have a purpose outside of their relationship.
He didn’t believe in breaks, but he said they could try it out. They did promise not to see other people as one of their rules. The break was pretty short-lived, and they were back together by Christmas.
“She said it was a mistake and she wanted us. And things were good. Our communication was stronger, and [it was as if] no time apart had ever occurred,” he explained.
“We were engaged by New Year’s. My fiancée didn’t wanna wait anymore. She wanted us to start our lives together in marriage. This past week, she’s been anxious and blamed it on wedding jitters.”
“Then the other day she sat me down and confessed to hooking up with some guy during the break. She met him on a dating app, and they [hooked up] a couple of times.”
His fiancée said she has been overwhelmed with guilt and told her sister what happened a month ago. Her sister said she had to confess before the wedding.
But his fiancée dragged her feet on that, so her sister said she would tell him. He is really having a difficult time with this news, as his fiancée insisted on being celibate and saving herself for marriage.
She told him that waiting would make their relationship even more special, and that was never a problem for him. He loved her and thought it would be worth the wait.
“But I’m struggling now because I don’t understand how she can turn around and give herself to some random guy in a way she’s never given herself to me. How celibacy was so important to her, but she gave that away for him,” he said.
“She swears the other guy meant nothing, and it was the biggest mistake of her life. That she ended the fling because I’m the one she’s in love with and who she wants to be with. But IDK, nothing she said really landed for me, TBH.”
“I asked if she would have told me if it wasn’t for her sister. She said she doesn’t know. She promised to do anything to rebuild trust and repair our relationship, no matter how long it takes. She still wants us to proceed with the wedding. She said she believes in our love and how we can withstand anything.”
His fiancée doesn’t think what she did has to define their bond. She did cry after he had nothing to say to her. She has not respected the fact that he asked for some space to process everything.
She’s being overly affectionate with him, and their wedding is happening soon. It’s on the smaller side, so it didn’t take them that long to plan.
While he does still love his fiancée and pictured spending his life with her, he’s doubting this decision.
He’s left wondering how he can move past what she did.
Well, I don’t think he can move on with her, but he sure can without her. She broke the one single rule they had during the break, which was not to see other people, and she was the one who enforced the whole celibacy thing.
I think she would have kept it a secret, too, unless her sister forced her to tell the truth. She’s a jerk and she’s not wife material.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
