If you’re looking for a how-to guide on ruining a first impression, he just wrote the textbook. There is a very thin, very dangerous line between being the mysterious guy in the shadows and being someone who attracts enough attention to have the cops called on you.
This man met a girl named Elena through some of their mutual friends. Elena works as an interior designer. She loves reading books and traveling. She’s opinionated when it comes to wine.
“I eat pasta three times a week and consider that a personality. My friend gave me advice: ‘Be a little mysterious. Don’t reveal everything at once. Women love mystery,'” he explained.
“I, a man with zero mysteries and whose most interesting hobby is watching documentaries about bridge construction, decided this was excellent advice.”
“We agreed to meet outside a café at 7. I arrived at 6:50 – normal. But then I thought: mysterious people don’t stand by the entrance like a bouncer. Mysterious people appear.”
He made the decision to wait around the corner for Elena so they could have their first date, and when she texted him to say she arrived, he would pop out and greet her.
Except I guess he looked more like a lurker than someone casually waiting for their date, and when Elena texted him at 7:01 to ask where he was, he stepped out from the corner.
As soon as he walked out of the shadows, a woman came running out of the building directly across from him and started screaming loud enough for the whole street to hear that he was the one she saw.
“Turns out, while I was standing around the corner looking ‘mysterious,’ the neighbour decided I was casing the building. Called the police. Twice,” he added.
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“I walked out from around the corner directly into two police officers and Elena standing there with her mouth open. Explained the situation for approximately 15 minutes. One officer was taking notes. The other was trying not to laugh and visibly losing.”
“The neighbour stood nearby watching me with absolute righteous fury. Elena said nothing. Then one officer asked: ‘So you were just… waiting for a date?'”
He confirmed that yes, he had been waiting for Elena to get there for their date. The officer then clarified that he had been waiting around the corner, acting mysterious.
He said yes again, and the officer stood there in silence for a moment. The second officer burst out in laughter, unable to contain it anymore.
The officers did let him go, as it was clear to them he was merely a man of mystery, not a robber waiting to make his move.
Elena turned to him and said he absolutely nailed the whole mysterious part, and then they carried on with their date, making their way over to the cafe.
“I told her about bridge construction documentaries. She listened for 40 minutes and actually asked questions. Third date on Thursday,” he continued.
“The neighbour still eyes me suspiciously every time I walk past. I nod at her. She does not nod back. I hope the officer who laughed is doing well.”
This really did make me laugh, and I hope you got a giggle out of his first date story, too! The pop-out-from-the-shadows move is something you only do if you’re Batman or a secondary character in a horror movie; never on a first date at 7:01 p.m.
The real hero here is Elena. Most people would have ghosted him while he was still explaining himself to the officers. The fact that she’s going on a third date means he’s found someone who values a good story (and maybe some niche facts about suspension bridges) over a guy who can actually manage a normal entrance.
Why is “be mysterious” such common dating advice for men? Is it because it actually works, or because it’s a convenient mask for guys who think their real hobbies (like bridge construction) are boring?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
