Do you think people have the capacity for change? For instance, if you found out your spouse was a homewrecker prior to your marriage, would you give them the benefit of the doubt, or think they changed their tune?
This 27-year-old man has a 24-year-old wife, and they tied the knot six months ago. Throughout the time that he’s been with his wife, she’s been nothing but loyal, loving, and hardworking to him as a spouse.
His wife has not given a reason to doubt her once; however, after finding out more information regarding her past, he can’t help but feel like he misjudged her.
And by the way, he went snooping through his wife’s phone, which is how he came across this information.
“Recently, I found out that about a year before we met, she was involved with a much older married man who had children of his own. Even worse, she was and still is on good terms with his wife,” he explained.
“She told me about him in the past, but only as a coworker. I later found out through screenshots of their WhatsApp conversations that they had a [physical] relationship and that she was deeply in love with him at the time.”
His wife has told him before that she no longer speaks to any men she used to sleep with, but that’s a lie, as his wife has texted her old hookup messages for the holidays from time to time.
He couldn’t find proof that his wife had crossed a line, been flirtatious, or done anything to make him feel that their marriage was unstable.
He is fully aware that since his wife had a relationship with this married man, who was her boss at the time, before he came along, he can’t call it cheating in regard to himself.
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But he hates homewreckers, and his wife showed selfishness and cruelty in what she chose to do with her boss.
“It’s more how deeply immoral everything about the situation is, you are friends with this guy’s wife, he is 15 years older than you and your boss at work, and still you go out of your way to [hook up with] him in warehouses and the back seat of your car,” he continued.
“She is a good wife to me, and I have never doubted her loyalty during our marriage. But I’m struggling with feelings of disgust and broken trust, and I don’t want to let resentment grow.”
“I’m looking for grounded advice [on] how to process these feelings without sabotaging my marriage?”
While I truly believe that people can chance, the fact this his wife cheated with her married boss and still is friendly with his wife is so many levels of shady.
His wife evidently has no remorse, and it’s not a good sign that she’s still in communication with her old boss at all, no matter how infrequent, because it makes it seem like she’s keeping him around as a backup option.
I wonder if it’s too late for him to get his marriage annulled, because his wife doesn’t sound so great at all.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
