It must be lonely to live in a house where your only living parent treats you like you’re not a priority, only to want you to be there for them in their time of need.
If you had a parent who neglected and ignored you in favor of a disabled stepsibling, would you come running for them when they needed you? Or would you tell them to take a hike?
This 17-year-old guy sadly lost his mom eight years ago following a surgery that turned tragic. One year after his mom’s passing, his dad informed him that his online girlfriend and her 11-year-old daughter would be moving in with them, even though his dad had never met them in real life.
His dad didn’t give him any details about this woman or her kid; his dad only stated that their lives were about to get a bit different.
The day his dad’s girlfriend and her daughter moved in, he learned this girl was disabled and needed round-the-clock care. She also required loads of medical equipment, so there were boxes of that stuff arriving at their house for several hours prior to the move-in.
His life didn’t change a little; it changed dramatically. His dad was so busy getting to know his girlfriend and helping take care of her disabled daughter.
His dad married this woman six months later, and her daughter was an enormous burden. His dad’s new wife only allowed one day of respite care per month, even though she had five or six available to her, since she didn’t trust anyone to care for her kid but her.
“My dad had wanted me to take more of an active role in ‘the family,’ and he encouraged me to offer my help with my stepsister. He told me she needed me, and his wife needed me too,” he explained.
“I told him she already got all of his time and attention focused on her, so why would I add mine, and he told me it was the wrong way to think of it, and if I needed him for anything, he would still be there. But when I needed him, he wasn’t.”
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“When I had a school thing I needed him to address, he wasn’t there. He told me he was busy and there was money needed for a new piece of equipment. When I had a kid in the neighborhood trying to knock me off my bike, and the parents wanted to talk to my dad, he wasn’t there.”
He got sick, and his grandpa was the one who took him to see a doctor because his dad didn’t have the time. As he encountered his own struggles, his dad kept on insisting he had to step up to help be his stepsister’s caretaker.
He didn’t even have the time to form a bond with his stepsister or stepmom since they were all so consumed with his stepsister’s disability. There was no time for creating relationships.
One month before he celebrated his 13th birthday, his grandpa picked him up and won custody, since his grandpa was upset he wasn’t being properly provided for.
He no longer saw his dad, stepmom, or stepsister after moving in with his grandpa. His dad called him on the phone a handful of times each year, and he did drop by to see him a few times, but that was it.
“Now my stepsister is getting hospice care, and according to the last update dad sent yesterday, she has two weeks and possibly less. Dad wanted me to go to the hospital for support and to say goodbye,” he added.
“But I don’t have a relationship to say goodbye to, and I don’t know or care about his wife. And Dad hasn’t earned my support. I told him I didn’t care enough to support him when he didn’t put me first when I was still his kid.”
“He told me now was not the time for grudges, and he wants me there. Grandpa told him that wasn’t something he had any right to ask for. Dad responded that I was being selfish and cruel, and I needed to do the right thing. He told me I can’t take any of this back. I said I won’t ever want to.”
After hanging up the phone, his grandpa spent hours sending texts to his dad. He thinks his dad screamed at his grandpa, and his grandpa has reassured him there’s nothing to be worried about.
He’s positive it made his dad feel bad that he won’t come see his stepsister in hospice, but he doesn’t see why he should be there for his dad when he can’t do the same for him. He’s left wondering if this makes him a jerk.
I’m happy he has his grandpa to stick up for him because his dad is selfish, as well as a terrible parent. It’s so bizarre to me that his dad failed him so he could put all of his time into being the hero for his wife and stepdaughter.
I don’t see why he should show up and be there for his dad now that he’s come calling him.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
