I do believe that the only way to come back from an affair is for the person who cheated to be completely honest. They can’t trickle truth, hide information, or choose to keep certain details a secret, because reconciliation has no chance of working in that kind of environment.
How would you feel if your spouse confessed to an affair prior to you tying the knot, but failed to tell you that they still work with their affair partner?
In 2021, this 38-year-old woman married her 37-year-old husband even after he admitted that he had an affair from 2018 to 2020 with a married woman.
The whole ugly mess involved him getting her pregnant, then terminating. He promised the affair was over and done with. At the same time, he told her about a woman he worked closely with and was friends with, but he didn’t share with her that his affair partner and coworker were the same exact woman.
She began dating her husband in October of 2020, and he had mentioned to her that he had broken up with a long-term girlfriend before getting into an affair with a married woman for some time.
He stated that he dated a different girl after all of that, but it didn’t work out for him. Her husband did make her believe that the whole incident with the married woman was a colossal mistake he regretted. Since her husband was so ashamed, she didn’t push for more information on that affair.
“In 2023, when our daughter was 5 months old, I found a photo from 2020 of him in bed with that colleague. That’s when I learned the truth: the affair partner and the ongoing colleague were the same person,” she explained.
“He had never told me that the woman he had an affair [with] and [then got pregant] was still in his professional life. He argues he didn’t lie because he told me about the affair — just not her identity.”
“But to me, this was material information. If I’d known he still worked with her and would continue interacting with her, I likely would not have married him or had a child. I feel robbed of informed consent.”
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Her husband and his affair partner work in the same company, and he swears their relationship is nothing but professional at this rate.
Her husband does share with her when he has to meet with his affair partner at work, but she is traumatized all over again to know that this woman still plays an important role in her husband’s life.
They’re both in therpay and her husband is showing remorse. She’s taking antidepressants, but she’s stuck on how distrustful she is of her husband, while feeling stuck between staying with him or walking away.
She’s wondering if she can manage to heal from this without making her husband cut ties completely with his affair partner.
Her husband absolutely kept this a secret from her for a reason. You don’t just forget to tell your wife that you still work with your affair partner and consistently see them.
Moving past your partner’s affair is difficult enough to do without piecing together that their affair partner is a fixture in their life. I don’t think healing from that is realistic; her husband would have to have no contact with this other woman in order for that to happen.
Her husband is a liar for not telling her the truth about his affair partner, and I don’t see how she can trust him after that, and after knowing he has a bond with his affair partner to this day.
The fact that she said she never would have married her husband or had a kid with him if she knew he was in touch with his affair partner already tells her what she needs to know: time for a divorce.
Do you think this is grounds for a divorce?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
