He was an empty nest success story, but then things took a sudden, expensive U-turn when his wife allowed their grown kids to move home without paying any bills.
For the last three decades, this man has been married to his wife. They have two kids, who are adults by now with college degrees and careers of their own.
Six months ago, their daughter went through a breakup with her boyfriend and moved back home. He said he would help her get her own apartment, but his wife accused him of being heartless and allowed her to come back to the nest.
Four months ago, their son got a job offer in their city, and he moved back in after that. As he said, both of his kids have jobs and have had no problem supporting themselves alone prior to coming back to him and his wife.
“I talked to my wife because our bills started going up. All our utilities have increased with the kids back home. Also, our grocery bills. It’s nuts how much more money I have to put in,” he explained.
“Once again, she said I should be happy the kids are home. I tried talking to the kids individually and together. They said they understood my position, and then [they] went and cried to their mom.”
Well, he went to talk to his boss and was able to accept a contract that requires him to be out of their town for an entire month at a time.
He previously dodged those contracts since he has seniority at the company, but he was happy to use this opportunity to move out of his house.
So, he put money in a shared bank account with his wife and went to live alone in a hotel room. He called his wife daily to see how she was doing.
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During the first month, it was amazing. He got one week off and enjoyed his free time. During the second month, his wife requested that he send her more money, and he wanted to know why she needed it.
“She said that our budget didn’t cover the bills. I asked for proof that the budget we agreed on did not cover the bills or that there was a sudden rise in the bills,” he added.
“She said I…knew why the budget wasn’t covering the bills. I told her to make them pay their part. She wouldn’t and took the extra money from her savings. I took my week off and visited my family in Ireland.”
“[The] third month we were talking, and she said that the kids were giving her money, but it wasn’t enough. I asked how much they gave her. $100 each. For utilities and groceries. So $200 total, and it didn’t cover the bills. I was shocked. I said I wasn’t going to pay to house and feed three adults with full-time jobs that couldn’t afford to pay their own way.”
By the way, his wife and kids pull in close to double his salary together, and it’s possible for them to pay their own bills; it’s just that the kids have to contribute more. Now, his wife is pleading with him for money.
The money his wife usually uses to get her hair done and have other beauty treatments, she is spending on groceries. She also can’t go out with her friends anymore since she doesn’t have the cash to do it.
His wife said he has to tell their kids to cough up more cash to help cover their bills, and he laughed at her, because he had already tried that, and the kids complained to his wife.
His wife was the one who called him a mean monster for expecting their kids to contribute to the household expenses.
“I love my kids, but feel no need to pay for their lives. My wife and I have lots of problems, but we were working on them, and we were doing okay before she decided to let the kids move back,” he continued.
“I am absolutely a grumpy old [man]. I like my privacy. I like not having to wait for a bathroom at home. Each of our kids is able to support themselves without my money. Our son got a promotion with a raise to move back to the city.”
“He could afford his own home and bills. He just wants me to pay for him. Our daughter is dating a different guy, and she can afford her own place. I would have no problem housing her while she was getting over her breakup. I would prefer not to divorce over this.”
However, he’s done having to fund the lives of three adults, especially since he worked his heart out to be comfortable, and he wants to enjoy that.
He’s left wondering if he’s a jerk for leaving his wife and kids to be responsible for their bills.
No, he’s not rude! Shame on his kids for freeloading and taking advantage of him and his wife. His wife created this disaster by enabling their kids, so he should let her do something about it and keep himself out of the house.
His wife should start charging their kids the going rate for rent in their area. That will help them find their own footing, and fast. And if she’s not interested in holding the kids accountable for their astronomical household expenses, maybe he does need to seriously consider a divorce.
What advice do you have for him? Do you think it’s poetic justice that his wife lost her fun money?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
