There is no sting quite like the one delivered by a parent who refuses to acknowledge your pain. Amidst the wreckage of a divorce, she thought a dinner at her parents’ house would be a brief respite from the storm.
Instead, her dad blamed her for her own heartbreak right at the dinner table, and she took matters quite literally into her own hands.
After a chaotic conclusion to the evening, she’s left to wonder: who really started the fire: the one who threw the punch, or the one who lit the match?
This 38-year-old woman is in the middle of a divorce at the moment, and she’s taking it really hard, given that she does have three kids with her husband. She does not enjoy discussing her divorce in the least, as it’s sensitive for her to talk about.
Her mom has been sympathetic and understanding of why she no longer wants to be with her husband, but her dad is not supportive.
Her mom has jumped in to help her pick her kids up at school or make them dinner, but her dad has kept his distance. One evening, her mom sent her a text asking her to have dinner together as a family, and obviously, her husband wasn’t invited, because they are no longer together.
When she arrived at her mom’s house with the kids, her mom welcomed them in, but her dad sat there on the couch watching TV and didn’t say hello.
“We all went in and sat at the table, and my mum had to say THREE times for him to come to the table. Of course, my dad, being my dad, blamed it on the TV being too loud and said he’s ‘part deaf.’ My mum just shrugged it off,” she explained.
Her dad eventually sat down at the table with them and asked where her husband was. She told her dad that their divorce was basically finalized, and so it’s just her and the children now.
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The whole thing made her super uneasy, and her mom raced to change the topic. The remainder of the evening was uneventful. Her kids laughed, they ate dinner, and she figured her dad’s awkwardness was behind them.
But just as she began to relax and take a breath, her dad blindsided her with a comment that made it seem like everything was her fault.
“He said something like, ‘Well, maybe if you had tried harder, you wouldn’t be divorced right now.’ He kind of laughed when he said it, like it was a joke, but it really hurt,” she added.
“I felt my face get hot immediately. I’ve been going through one of the hardest times in my life, and I’ve tried so hard to stay strong for my kids. Hearing that from my own dad, in front of everyone, just pushed me over the edge.”
“Before I even really thought about it, I stood up and slapped him. It shocked everyone. The room went completely silent. My kids looked confused, and my mum started calling my name. I grabbed my kids, told them to get their jackets, and we left right away. The drive home was quiet, and I felt awful, but also angry and hurt at the same time.”
Her entire family is calling and texting her in the aftermath of the family dinner. Her dad called her disrespectful, and her other family members are asking her to apologize, as they feel she needlessly freaked out.
Her mom gets why she was so angry, but thinks she should have kept her hands to herself, since the kids were all present for the showdown.
She’s left feeling confused. She realizes that hitting someone is wrong, but her dad’s remark was so cuttingly cruel, and she’s having a difficult time with the divorce.
Yes, her dad is a jerk for making the divorce seem like her fault, but it was inappropriate for her to slap him for it. She should have gotten up and walked away. Removing yourself from a situation that’s triggering is a much better way to handle things.
She also set a terrible example for her kids by behaving in that way right at the dinner table. She definitely has a problem regulating her emotions and should seek professional help for that.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
