Have you heard the mantra in modern dating, “If he wanted to, he would?” It means that if a man is truly invested or interested in you, he will make things happen in order to be with you or prove his love for you.
You won’t have to guess about where you stand with him because he’s dedicated to you, and he will show that through his actions.
So, if you were waiting around for your boyfriend to give you the engagement ring you know he bought months ago, would you feel like he actually wanted to get engaged to you?
This 31-year-old woman and her 35-year-old boyfriend have been together for the last three years. Back in October of 2025, they took the next step in their relationship and went shopping for an engagement ring together.
“I picked out the most beautiful ring. He bought the ring, the enhancer, and it’s been sitting on his desk (in the living room; he works from home) since. It’s now April,” she explained.
“He’s had the ring for 6 months. He continually jokes about it. Like if I do the dishes, he says oh she’s trying to get that ring, or [if I] do any other ‘favors,’ he always brings it up.”
“Like, yes, I’m trying to get the ring you have already bought. He’s had it so long [that] he has had to go get it inspected and cleaned.”
She has said to her boyfriend that it’s not unusual to hang onto a ring for months if you buy it, and your girlfriend has no idea the surprise is coming.
But that’s not their reality. She was right there by his side and had an active role in selecting the ring that should be on her finger for the rest of her life.
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At this rate, she’s afraid she’s in pursuit of something that will never end up materializing for her, which has left her feeling insane.
“He keeps saying he needs to talk to my dad (which truly doesn’t matter) and that he’s waiting on a special moment. We’ve been on vacation to Miami and Atlanta since he’s had it,” she continued.
“We’ve been to St. Louis multiple times, Indianapolis multiple times. I’ve even told him I don’t care if it’s in our living room, I just want to be engaged.”
“It’s hard for me to articulate how I feel. I’m in therapy and see a psychiatrist (I do have a lot of trauma). But I told him I feel like that commercial where the guy is like, ‘I got you a dollar!’ And keeps pulling it away. He got upset, and I just came upstairs.”
She’s left wondering if she’s the rude one for calling her boyfriend out.
I can’t say I know any women who have literally gone ring shopping with their boyfriends and had them buy the thing right in front of them.
That alone is weird, and adding to the strangeness is how long her boyfriend has held onto the ring without getting down on one knee.
I don’t think he’s acting like a man who wants to get engaged to her; he’s dragging his feet and making it seem like he is not about to make her his wife. Ever.
Also, the things he’s saying to her about the ring mean he is holding it over her head, and that’s just savage. He is dangling it like a carrot in front of her, and why does she want to be with a man like this?
He’s giving her the bare minimum, and everything she has experienced is worth leaving him over. Who cares that he bought the ring? He’s never going to give it to her.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
