That picture-perfect suburban life where the neighbors look out for each other isn’t always achievable. Sometimes the front lawn camaraderie hides a massive amount of projection.
When your neighbor views your harmless gesture as some kind of scandalous affair, what are you supposed to do?
This woman and her husband are in their 30s, and a year ago, a couple their age moved in next door, named Emily and Jake. She and Emily were both pregnant back then and due within a few weeks of one another.
They became friendly after running into each other in the neighborhood. They would text back and forth about their pregnancies, and their husband became friends too.
“For some context, Emily had a very difficult pregnancy and was on bed rest for the last month of her pregnancy before she gave birth,” she explained.
“They moved away from their support system for Jake’s job and didn’t have family nearby, so I would sometimes drop off meals when I was cooking for my own family.”
“Emily had her baby about a month before I had mine. After the babies were born, we didn’t see much of each other. I invited her a few times to go for walks with the babies, but she always declined, saying the baby was fussy or napping.”
She thought that Emily was just stressed out about being a mom for the first time, and their husbands kept on hanging out without them.
A week ago, she was walking her baby in the neighborhood when she saw Jake, who was doing the same thing. They walked together for half an hour and chatted about their babies, jobs, and plans for the summer.
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The babies were awake when they turned onto their street, so she invited Jake to come in for coffee so the babies could have a playdate.
He said thank you, but said he had to hurry home to get some errands done. Several days later, Emily invited her to come over so the babies could play.
She went over to Emily’s house with her baby and some food, since Emily had stated that she was anxious about letting her baby have new things.
As the babies were playing, out of the blue, Emily asked why she had invited Jake to come in when she saw him on their walk. She was taken aback and told Emily it was supposed to be a playdate for the babies.
“She responded that she didn’t know what I was playing at, but her husband was off-limits and uninterested in case I had any ideas,” she added.
She was so shocked that she was silent for a few moments. When she gathered her thoughts, she replied to Emily that she thought it was crazy of her to think she was trying to start something with her husband.
She then informed Emily that her own husband was at home in their house that day; it wasn’t like it was just going to be her and Jake alone.
“I also said that I hope she heals from whatever happened in her life that made her view something so innocent as a threat. She laughed in my face and said [that’s] rich coming from you. Just because your husband treats you like dirt doesn’t make it okay for you to go after my husband,” she said.
“My jaw dropped, and I just picked up my baby and left. I…hate myself for not giving her a piece of my mind and leaving without saying anything. But I felt like I had just been slapped. My husband and I have been having some serious issues.”
“When I got home, I told him what happened and asked if he has said anything about our problems to Jake. He swore that he hasn’t, but I am not sure I believe him because how else would Emily know anything? My husband then said Emily was right, that it was inappropriate to invite Jake in, and my husband is now mad at ME over the whole thing.”
And for more context, she found out two months ago that her husband has been cheating on her, but she doesn’t have any details because he told her it’s not important for her to know anything, like who he cheated on her with and how long the affair was going on.
Anyway, since her husband is on Emily’s side, she’s left wondering if it was inappropriate for her to invite Jake in for coffee.
Her husband is a jerk! And he absolutely told Jake about his cheating, because there’s no way Emily would know all of that unless Jake gossiped about it to her. Or, unless Emily is his affair partner, since that’s also plausible, as that’s still a secret to her.
Her husband obviously was trash-talking her to Jake or Emily, and I’m honestly not sure why she’s putting up with a man like that. Not only did he cheat, but he’s going around bad-mouthing her to one of their neighbors? Gross.
Additionally, Emily does have a right to feel threatened by her actions, no matter how innocent, but Emily didn’t act like a mature adult in how she expressed that to her. Instead, Emily was rude, and that’s not acceptable.
For now, she should steer clear of Emily and Jake, and ask her husband to do the same, but the bigger problem here is her husband and how to deal with him, not the couple next door.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
