If your spouse’s actions directly put your children in harm’s way, would you be done with them and want to file for divorce?
This woman recently stayed in a hotel for a mini vacation with her husband and their kids, who are 13, 12, 11, and 13-months-old. She left everyone alone at one point to attend an event panel right down the street.
While she was out, her kids said her husband started screaming at them to go to the hotel pool alone right after they had returned to the room and no longer felt like swimming.
The kids turned around and went back to swim, and when they came back to the room again, her husband was passed out drunk on the couch, and their baby was left unsupervised, digging through his wallet.
The hotel room was a mess and covered in water bottles with the caps off, plastic bags, and tons of things that posed a danger to her baby.
“He woke up, made them go back to the pool, and by the time I returned (maybe 40 min to an hourish?) he was in bed with our baby, obviously not mentally all there. He initially lied about drinking, then admitted to it,” she explained.
She was beyond furious with him as he gave her a pile of excuses for why he had to drink. His best one was that he looked through her online history and saw that she had aired her dirty laundry to internet strangers.
That’s a horrible excuse to her, and she has only done that online for fear of ruining her family’s impression of her husband if she went complaining to them.
She wasn’t seeking validation, as her husband accused her of doing; she was trying to turn to people for help on how to deal with all of his problems, because the hotel room incident is not even the tip of the iceberg.
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She’s just done and can’t understand how her husband put all of their kids in bad situations, especially her baby. Her husband doesn’t get how bad this all is, and he hasn’t so much as apologized to them.
“Fortunately, this felt like basically a joke of a marriage as we only share a phone bill despite my primary role being the stay-at-home mom to care for our baby, so splitting things should be a non-issue,” she continued.
“He just left for work and texted me that he took a video of the house because he thinks I’m going to destroy his stuff. I don’t know whether to laugh or be annoyed. Not that he has much of value here…I couldn’t care less about his stuff. I just want my peace and a semblance of my life back.”
“I seriously don’t know what I’m doing here. I’m not sure what advice I’m even asking. I wish I could say this is the first time he was a bad drunk; it’s not. I wish I could say it’s the first time he’s made our blend of kids uncomfortable and upset; it’s not. I wish I could say this was the first post I’ve made about him and his issues, but it’s not.”
Oh, and her husband has stated he does not want her to have some kind of backup plan, to which she replied she desperately needs one, considering how he is.
She doesn’t like that her husband is mad at her for hatching her escape plan; she wants him to be a man she doesn’t feel the need to run away from.
Her husband did put her kids in danger. All of them. That’s completely beyond unacceptable, and she should leave him, because what if it happens again and she’s not so lucky the next time?
It sounds like he has a problem, and he’s not willing to admit it, which also means there’s nothing to save here in their marriage. She needs a divorce.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
