If you spent years engaged to someone, only to have them say they’re not sure they can go through with your wedding because of a potential child they have with another person, what would you do?
For the last five years, this 33-year-old woman has been engaged to her 31-year-old fiancé, but they have been with one another for a decade.
They have a young child and a home together. If you’re curious as to why they never got around to tying the knot sooner, there were many factors, including money and changes in their lives.
However, they finally set an official date for May of this year, and their plan is to keep it simple and just go down to the courthouse.
“When I first got pregnant, my fiancé questioned my fidelity and asked if our child was his. He says it’s because I went on a co-ed trip without him that he WAS invited to,” she explained.
“Although I was highly offended and hurt, I agreed and purchased the at-home paternity test once our child was born. He did not take the test…”
“I can’t lie that accusation has been eating me up for years. Him bringing that to my attention while I was pregnant, and not falling through, ate me up inside.”
Let’s rewind here for a moment to back when she started dating her fiancé ten years ago: he confessed to her that he was convinced he had a 1-year-old son, despite the fact that this other woman insisted the kid was not his.
This other woman told her fiancé that the child was either fathered by him or a different guy, but a DNA test was never performed.
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This other woman didn’t think the test was a necessary step to take, and so, she raised her son with the other man, who is potentially his father.
She and her fiancé have rarely discussed this in the ten years that followed. But she felt the need to bring it up recently and told her fiancé that she’s still upset about how he asked for a paternity test for their child.
She even went so far as to say to him that she’s positive that what went down with the boy who might be his made him put his insecurities onto her and their child.
“His response? He’s been haunted [by] the thought of him being his son, and he’d like to pursue this legally before we get married,” she continued.
“But my thoughts are, we’ve been together 10 years, we’re a couple weeks away from getting married, and you want to bring this up, NOW!? We’ve been having such a difficult time financially, I can’t imagine bringing another kid into the mix.”
“Especially with me being the breadwinner. And what if he causes issues in someone’s happy home because of this? What if the boy is not ready for that? What if he really isn’t the father? I’m overwhelmed with feelings.”
There is a piece of her that wants to demand couples counseling, but then again, there’s a larger piece that is ready to call off the wedding and dump him for good.
While yes, she wants to be with her fiancé, she’s terrified of how his probable son will impact their lives.
She’s left wondering if she’s wrong to no longer want to do what it takes to make this relationship succeed.
Ok, since a courthouse wedding is minimal effort, it seems to me that her fiancé is trying to craft another excuse to hold off on getting hitched.
He knew about this kid for a decade and only chose to take action now? That’s suspicious! Also, it’s weird that he demanded that they get a DNA test done on their own kid, but backed out.
This guy is a mess, and I think she needs to rip the band-aid off and waste no time leaving him behind.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
