If your spouse caught feelings for a coworker, would you want to still be with them? Or would you consider that the end of your marriage?
This man has spent the last 15 years married to his wife, and they have two children who are less than ten years old. Their life is pretty amazing.
They are homeowners, they have wonderful careers, and they still go out on nice dates and vacations. Four years ago, his wife sadly went through a midlife crisis, and she didn’t hide it from him.
“She told me she fell for a dude at work, and made the mistake of confessing her feelings for him, and he confessed his feelings to her too,” he explained.
“I was obviously pretty hurt, but did not consider divorce and wanted to work through our marriage to get the spark back. We went to couples therapy, and that was the best decision we could have ever made. We did a lot of things to reignite that ‘spark’ in our marriage.”
“My wife even changed jobs after that, and she was very grateful that I was understanding and was also very apologetic about developing feelings for her co-worker.”
He was still offended by what happened, but since his wife was so forthcoming about what went down and was trying to put the work in to revive their marriage, he had gratitude for her.
He knows she could have just walked away, but she didn’t. The affair happened four years ago, and now he’s encountering his own midlife crisis.
But the problem with that is he wants to divorce his wife. He’s no longer down to stay married to a woman who fell in love with another man.
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“I‘ve told my wife what I’m feeling, and my wife has been crying a lot, asking to save the marriage and asking about counseling or therapy or anything, and I told her I’m not interested,” he continued.
“I understand we have two young kids, and this would result in split homes for them. I understand that [financially], [a] divorce would be tough. I understand my wife loves me a lot and is trying to do anything to save the marriage.”
“But I don’t think I love my wife. I want to be single and free and date again, and to be a great dad to my kids. I have admittedly stopped a close friendship with a woman recently when I [thought] the emotional boundaries were being crossed, and she was complimenting me [a] lot.”
He felt so incredible after what his friend said to him, and it made him see that he hadn’t felt that way in four long years. He’s in excellent shape, and he’s thinking right now that he would be better off without his wife.
He’s left wondering if he’s a jerk for feeling like this.
Well, I feel like he’s super honorable for having stuck it out as long as he did. I would have left on day one, not four years later. But maybe only now it’s hitting him what he dealt with, and it took him a long time to grieve that?
I don’t see anything wrong with him wanting to leave his wife now and deciding he can’t live with what she did.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
