Do you think a marriage can truly survive infidelity, or do you think there’s a risk of the betrayed spouse stepping out and having their own fun?
It was two years ago that this 37-year-old man was unfaithful to his 35-year-old wife and ended up having a one-night stand with a woman he thought was gorgeous.
He just wasn’t thinking when he got involved with this other woman, and he does feel a lot of remorse. He wishes he could turn back time and never sleep with someone else.
“I ruined any credibility of being a solid husband. This is my [mistake] and not hers. When my wife found out, it almost destroyed our marriage and fully shattered her trust in me,” he explained.
“Again…all on me. I don’t know how she found the strength to forgive me, but she did. I promised her I would become a better man and better husband. I went to counseling and spent the last two years trying to repair what I broke.”
“Things started feeling safe again between us. But again, I think I went wrong by expecting that hurt and insecurity she felt to shrink. I gave her lifelong pain.”
A couple of days ago, he caught sight of a bizarre email on his wife’s laptop, and it definitely appeared to be super inappropriate to him.
Next, he went through his wife’s phone and found out that she’s been having an emotional affair with her 27-year-old male coworker.
He read messages where his wife’s coworker asked about him, and his wife started out by speaking quite highly of them. But after her coworker addressed his cheating, his wife brought up how upset she felt when he did that to her.
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“And you know he purposefully brought that up. She also seems to be attracted to him. She sends those heart eye emojis. She tells him that he looks good. She flirts. She makes suggestive comments,” he added.
“And to top it off.. She has sent him [photos without clothes on], and has asked to see him [without clothes on]. At first, I thought to myself, she has no clue how young guys work. When he gets what he wants, he’ll disappear.”
“But I checked his average response time to her messages. It’s usually within 1-3 minutes. I analyzed the way he enthusiastically speaks with her. It’s beyond just wanting to [sleep with her]. I can see that he has a romantic crush on my wife.”
He can tell his wife’s coworker is taking shots at him, too. He fears this guy is manipulating his wife, and she is left clueless about it all.
After reading all of the messages, he feels as if he no longer has the strength to bounce back from this. He doesn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with his wife’s affair, and he says these kinds of relationships almost certainly end up in something physical.
He realizes he sounds like a hypocrite, considering what he did. He has said sorry to his wife for the damage he caused to her when he cheated first.
He has told his wife that he thinks their marriage is going down in flames, and it makes the most sense for them to probably split up.
“I keep replaying every message I saw in my head. It’s making my blood boil and my chest pound. My heart hurts, and my anger is strangling me,” he continued.
“What’s bothering me most is she’s probably gonna be with him. After I brought up divorce, she stepped outside to get away. Completely understandable. But she was outside on her phone.”
“I saw her on the phone, crying to someone. I realized it was most likely him. The real pain is we have kids together. We built our life and our family. Unfortunately, it’s damaged from our actions.”
It’s always so curious to me when couples think that a marriage can survive infidelity, because I’m not so positive that it’s possible.
Now, considering his own situation, I am convinced his marriage is officially over. I don’t exactly feel sorry for him, though, because I do believe his actions led his wife to seek out her coworker.
Two wrongs do not make a right, but he is squarely to blame. He should just start the divorce process and call it quits.
What advice do you have for him?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
