When she was 38 years old, TikToker Steph (@stephbernrose) almost married a con man. Two months before her wedding, she found out that her fiancé was married to someone else, only had $25 in his bank account, and had proposed to her with a pawn shop ring after he told her it was a family heirloom.
“I’m going to refer to him as T,” said Steph. “T and I worked together. T was really sweet, really warm, affectionate, very generous, like he would give you the shirt off his back.”
“He was also incredibly handsome and incredibly charming. He was 6’4.” I’m only 5’2.” We had a flirtation for a long time, and when we finally connected, it just felt right.”
For the most part, he treated her well, and she loved him. There were a lot of red flags, but she was blinded by love and didn’t see them right away. Over time, T’s lies started to snowball.
As their relationship progressed, they began talking about marriage and kids. They were both in their late thirties and wanted to start a family. They met each other’s families and told human resources they were dating.
Soon enough, they decided they were ready to go ring shopping. She found her dream jeweler in Los Angeles. They specialized in vintage diamonds. Steph and T also had candid conversations about money. He wanted her to pick out the ring she had always dreamed about.
“To be quite frank, I knew how much he was making,” said Steph. “We actually had the same exact salary. So, I thought that we were coming to this relationship as equals. And to this day, I still don’t know where all his money went.”
Once they found the ring, they started looking at wedding venues. She chose a bed and breakfast in Venice, right off the beach. It had a beautiful yard that would be perfect for an outdoor wedding. They had to put down a deposit to lock in their wedding date.
Since she thought T had just wired a significant amount of money for her ring, she put down the initial deposits for their venue and the other vendors. T was living with her in L.A., but was still renting a room in an apartment in New York and still had some of his belongings there.
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T ended up connecting her checking account to his direct deposit so that part of his paycheck would go toward paying her back for wedding expenses. He also agreed to deposit $10,000 into her checking account.
“So, I started getting money from his checking account to pay for his part, but he was supposed to send me that $10,000 so that we would be equal,” said Steph.
“So, we made it back to New York, and the days kept ticking on, and the money was not in my account. He kept making excuse after excuse.”
That’s when she knew that he was lying. She called the bank herself. None of it made sense, and she kept confronting him, but he refused to come clean.
At that point, she insisted that they show each other what their finances looked like because she was not going to marry someone without full transparency.
He kept delaying showing her his accounts and made up a bunch of excuses. She was also waiting for him to propose with the ring she had picked out. Her aunt planned an extravagant bridal shower, so the pressure for him to propose was mounting.
In the end, all the lies came out. He only had $25 in his bank account, so he couldn’t afford her dream ring and had to settle for a cheap ring from a pawn shop. On top of that, he was already married to someone else.
Steph definitely dodged a bullet. Now, she is married to the actual love of her life and has put the past behind her. They met when she was 39, got engaged at 40, married at 41, and are trying for a baby at 42.
By Emily Chan
Emily Chan is a writer who covers lifestyle and news content. She graduated from Michigan State University with a degree in... More about Emily Chan
