There are the white lies some people tell, where nobody gets hurt, and then there are the big lies that can absolutely devastate everyone around the liars.
If you found out that your spouse hid an enormous secret throughout your entire marriage, would you even be interested in working to one day forgive them?
This woman gave birth to her fourth baby with her husband back in April, and they got married seven years ago. Last Friday, she unfortunately found out some news that has left her reeling.
“He had used my computer for a job interview and left his email open. When I went to log in, I saw child support documents pulled up,” she explained.
“When I confronted him, he admitted he has a child from 2014 from a one-night stand. He said he’s never met the child, and the child’s mother has since passed away, so the child is being raised by her parents.”
“I feel completely blindsided that he hid something this big from me our entire marriage. On top of that, it’s a lot to process emotionally while I’m already exhausted with four young kids at home.”
While her husband has said that he’s sorry, it doesn’t matter; he still hid the truth from her for years on end. Additionally, her husband’s extra child is financially ruining them.
Her husband pays nearly $2,000 a month in child support, which is why he’s always been weird about their money or strict about going on vacations and splurging.
She used to wonder why that was, as he has a great job. She does find it upsetting that her husband has spent a fortune on his extra child, and it’s hard for her to accept.
“I can’t help but think of the things we have to cut back on for our kids because of it (preschool, vacations, sports, etc). I’m so torn on how I feel,” she continued.
“I love my husband, but how could he have hidden this from me for so long? I feel like the trust has been broken, and IDK how it’ll ever be rebuilt.”
“I just feel really lost right now…the other difficult part about this is he has asked me not to tell anyone. I’m the second person who knows aside from his dad. His own mom doesn’t even know. I’m finding it hard to have no one to talk to about this.”
Ugh, well, if her husband is capable of hiding a whole child from her, what else is he keeping a secret? That’s what I would be unable to look past.
I also find it unacceptable that her husband wasn’t transparent about his finances. Why did she even put up with that for seven years?
It’s also unhinged that her father-in-law knows about the secret kid and is hiding that from her mother-in-law, because that’s also not normal, and I wonder if her husband learned how to lie from his own dad.
And then let’s talk about how her husband was capable of abandoning his firstborn completely, who is now an orphan. That’s diabolical, and not a sign of a good person. Why does she want to stay married to this man? He’s trash.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
