Forgiveness is a fascinating thing, and it’s deeply personal as to whether or not it’s something you can ultimately achieve. If your spouse cheated on you, would you ever be able to forgive their affair partner for the role they played in damaging your marriage?
It was nearly 11 months ago that this woman found out about her husband’s affair. It was a long-distance emotional one, and it happened while she was away for a couple of weeks last summer.
Her husband was struggling with his mental health at the time, which made the affair much more complex. Her husband has gone on medication, sought therapy, and they have attended marriage counseling.
It was hard for her to be so supportive of him, but she managed to be his rock. They have put in the work to reconcile, and here they are, still married to one another.
“But that’s not to say that it was without great pain and trauma for me. After all this time, I finally said what I needed to say to close this chapter and release the AP from my thoughts,” she explained.
So, she messaged this woman and mentioned that she wanted to wait to do so until she felt that the worst pain this woman caused her was behind her. She then got right down to stating that she forgives her.
“You may not think you need my forgiveness, and to some degree that’s true, because only you have to live with the choices you made,” she said.
“You’ve not apologized to me, and perhaps you feel no remorse. But I’m choosing to forgive you anyway. And I wanted to say it directly to you to remind you that I existed. [Husband] was ultimately responsible for protecting our marriage, and he didn’t.”
“I don’t deny his part in wrongdoing, and neither does he. But you also knew he was married, and as far as I can tell, you did nothing to respect me or our relationship. That was wrong and incredibly hurtful to me. I’m a real person with real feelings, and you can’t possibly know what your actions cost me, a complete stranger.”
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She went on to detail that she has no insight into this woman’s reasons for getting tangled up with her husband, but whatever they are, they’re not something she can excuse.
She added that she’s making strides towards healing and will come out of all of this a stronger woman. She asked that her husband’s affair partner take a deep look inside and find out why she did what she did.
“And whatever conclusion you come to, I hope you heal your own wounds and choose never to lower yourself to the level of digging around in someone else’s marriage again. I forgive you,” she concluded.
Well, I think it was a bold move for her to reach out to this woman at all, and I hope it gives her closure. I wonder if her husband’s affair partner will bother replying to her.
I honestly hope this woman chooses silence and doesn’t say anything, except for maybe sorry, but who knows if she’s truly remorseful or not.
What do you think of her letter?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
