If you sadly lost a child who was afraid of your ex-spouse’s partner, would you let that person come to the funeral, or would you ban them?
This man and his ex-wife had a daughter who was born with some serious heart conditions. His daughter underwent multiple surgeries to help her throughout the years, and ultimately, that cost her her life.
“Just after her 13th birthday in 2014, she had another round of surgeries; there were complications, she went into a coma, and passed 5 weeks later,” he explained.
“Her mother and I had been separated since 2004, and I had custody over her and her older then-brother (said older sibling came out as trans later) since 2008, when we discovered that her partner that she was living with was abusive towards both kids, and we had to get them out of that house.”
He was able to get a court order and got full custody of both kids. The court mandated that his ex was only allowed to be in contact with the kids when her partner was not around.
His ex and her partner moved somewhere new in 2011, and only saw his kids once following the relocation. He had to drive out there to get his ex to sign paperwork, and that was it.
When he had the funeral for his daughter, he made it clear to his ex-wife that her partner was banned, and he had a really good reason for that.
“I felt it was disrespectful to my youngest that the man she had been afraid of would attend, and that it would be upsetting to her older sibling to have him there also,” he added.
“[My] ex and [her] partner drove back to the province the day before the funeral. [My] ex said that she needed him there for his emotional support through everything, but while she was welcome to the funeral, I wouldn’t allow him to attend.”
“I like to think that I was justified in not allowing him around after how he treated the kids, but I wonder if I should have been understanding [of] her needs at the time, if she really needed his support getting through everything.”
Considering he was in a bad place emotionally and mentally back then, he’s left wondering all these years later if he was a jerk or if he made the right decision.
Given this man’s scary history with his kids, he was well within his rights to prevent his man from attending the funeral, and what was his ex thinking, dragging her partner along?
This is the easiest situation to pass judgment on. He was being a great dad by keeping his daughter safe in life, and her funeral was a final act of showing his daughter respect.
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
