For many parents, the idea of their child dating or marrying someone much older than them is terrifying. It’s hard to know exactly how you’d react if you were in that situation.
One man has found himself in a difficult position after telling his 22-year-old daughter he would not support her marriage to a 42-year-old man.
He’s 52-years-old and has several kids, including his 22-year-old daughter.
Over the last few years, he hasn’t been able to visit with his daughter as much as he’d like, as she lives and works in another state as a teacher.
However, his daughter recently came home to attend her older brother’s baby shower, which was a pleasant surprise for their entire family.
Unfortunately, what was first a pleasant surprise quickly turned into an unpleasant one for him when he saw who his daughter had brought to the shower.
“I was happy to see her but was surprised when I saw a middle-aged man with her,” he recalled.
“She then told me he was her fiancé. My ex-wife and girlfriend were so happy, as were my kids and daughter-in-law. I then found out my daughter was marrying a 42-year-old man. I was shocked and automatically did not approve. This man was only 10 years younger than me, and I didn’t appreciate him dating my young daughter. My family talked to him and [say] he’s a good guy. He’s got his own contracting business and makes a lot of money. However, I couldn’t shake the thought of this grown man taking advantage of my daughter. I was very uncomfortable, and to make it worse, I found out she started dating him when she was 18.”
He couldn’t get over his feelings of uneasiness as he learned more about his daughter’s relationship, and when she told him to save the date for her wedding in Washington, which she’d play to fly him out to, he told her he would not attend.
He decided to be honest with his daughter and told her he was not comfortable with her marrying someone 20 years older than him. While his daughter tried to convince him that it was a good choice, that her new husband would take great care of her and still let her be independent, he was still skeptical.
“I just couldn’t shake the icky feeling of my daughter practically marrying someone who could be her father,” he admitted.
“She told me she’d be heartbroken if I didn’t attend because she wanted me to walk her down the aisle as she dreamed. While I felt guilty, I stuck to my guns. She hung up on me. When I got home, my girlfriend asked why I wouldn’t attend the wedding, and I told her my reasons. She said it wasn’t good enough and this was an important day for my daughter. My ex-wife was also angry, as was my other daughter. My son said he would also not be attending as it disgusted him [that] his younger sister [would] be marrying an older man.”
Recently, he’s been hearing that his daughter has been devastated that he and his son don’t want to attend her wedding, and he has been crying on the phone to several relatives. She even decided to cancel her wedding and elope with her fiancé.
While he feels guilty about the way everything went down, he still can’t bring himself to accept his future son-in-law.
How can he smooth things over with his daughter?
You can read the original post on Reddit here.
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