A painful past can demystify the roots of emotional struggles and harmful behaviors, but do you think that makes someone exempt from being accountable for their current actions and how they treat others?
This woman has been with her husband for eight years in total, and they had their wedding last year. Lately, she’s come to realize that her husband has been pulling away from her.
When she called her husband out for being distant, he actually confessed to cheating on her with some girl he had a bond with 12 years ago.
“I kicked him out immediately. The very next day, he came back crying, begging to work things out, and promised he completely cut her off,” she explained.
“We’ve talked, and I keep questioning him about why he did this. He is absolutely adamant that it had nothing to do with me. He literally can’t give me a solid reason and just keeps telling me that I am the ‘perfect wife.'”
Her husband has immersed himself in therapy and insists that he has been suppressing childhood trauma throughout his entire lifetime, which is coming to the surface now.
Listen, she’s not trying to doubt that people can experience childhood trauma that can later cause problems for them as adults, but that’s not an excuse she’s willing to buy from her husband for his infidelity.
“How does repressed trauma translate into cheating on your wife of one year? It feels like an explanation, but definitely not an excuse,” she added.
“We’ve decided that it is probably best for us to separate for now so I can get some space. And he said he can’t make a decision on whether he is even capable of working on this marriage (as per the therapist’s words, too), but I am just so completely blindsided, heartbroken, and confused.”
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She left wondering how she can cope, especially given her husband’s crazy explanation to excuse his cheating.
Hey, it’s nice her husband is getting therapy to help whatever childhood trauma he feels the need to heal, but that’s not a valid reason to cheat on your spouse.
He should have hurried up and found a therapist instead of another woman to sleep with. Also, I doubt that he’s been faithful throughout their eight years together if he only felt the need to cheat now, and his childhood trauma isn’t exactly new; it’s been something he’s been carrying around.
Why would a year’s worth of marriage trigger his cheating? He’s a manipulative liar, and she should stick firm to the separation so she can sort through what she wants to do.
It doesn’t sound to me like he’s remorseful, which is a big red flag.
What advice do you have for her?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
