When you get divorced from someone, is it your responsibility to help provide for your ex-spouse’s kids that you’re not involved with? Or do all expectations end along with the marriage?
Six years ago, this man and his ex-wife got divorced, and the split was completely horrific. Needless to say, they are always at odds and do not speak to one another unless it concerns the 10-year-old son they share.
Even then, they require mediation to effectively co-parent, as they frequently clash on the big choices they have to make, and it’s not unheard of for them to land in court for specific issues.
But after his ex-wife got remarried, everything between them became even uglier. His ex-wife’s new husband has three kids he brought into the marriage, who are eight, nine, and eighteen. His ex-wife and her husband then went on to have a child together, who is four.
His ex-wife and her husband insist that it’s his responsibility to make everything equitable and fair between his son and their kids. They also don’t want him to participate in certain things with his son since they believe it’s sacred to them as a family.
“Examples of this are when I took my son to Disney, and they were upset because they had a five-year plan to take their family there,” he explained.
“This was never mentioned to me, and I felt it was unfair to say I couldn’t bring our son until they got to take him. Another example was signing my son up for ice skating lessons when he wanted.”
“I signed him up close to where we live, which my ex signed off on at first, but then they couldn’t afford it for the other kids/couldn’t give them similar opportunities, and it was a big deal.”
He’s also gotten backlash from his ex-wife and her husband for throwing his son’s birthday parties, since they can’t give their kids the same, as they don’t have that kind of money.
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They also have gotten mad at him for not inviting all of their kids to his son’s parties, even though his son did not want any of those children in attendance.
Now, he purchased his son a gaming console for Christmas, and after his ex noticed he purchased it a couple of weeks back, she questioned him about whether it was for their son.
He responded that it wasn’t her concern, so she knew that meant it was for him. His ex insisted that he should make his son bring the gaming console to her house and share it with her kids.
She’s been badgering him about it nonstop, actually, even though he quit replying to her. He finally told her over email that he would not be bending to her demands.
“My son doesn’t like sharing at his mom’s house because stuff gets broken by the other kids, or they hog stuff. He chooses to keep the stuff I buy him with me and use them [during the] weeks he spends with me,” he continued.
“But I have told him that anything expensive should stay, so it doesn’t get broken. I also worry about them keeping nice stuff and claiming my son said it was fine, or my ex arguing that the other kids use it more, or some [stuff]. I could see her pulling a stunt like that.”
“She’s furious about the console because it’s a Switch 2 and would be perfect for family gaming, according to her. But I am not buying for her stepkids or her other bio child. I buy for our son and our son alone.”
He’s left wondering if he’s a jerk for not making his son take his Christmas presents to his ex’s house to share with her kids.
His own son doesn’t want to share his own Christmas presents, so no, he shouldn’t make him at all! He should let his son leave the gifts at his house so his ex’s kids can’t ruin the things he worked hard to buy for his kid.
It’s also not his job to provide a single thing to his ex’s kids, and it’s insane to me that she thinks she can make him do that or treat all the kids the same when only one is his.
He sounds like an awesome dad, and he shouldn’t let his crazy ex get in his way!
What do you think?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
