When you do something kind for an ex and financially help them out, only to have them disparage you to your new partner, should you pull your funding?
For the last year, this 32-year-old man has been dating his 29-year-old girlfriend, Katie, and their relationship is excellent. He can envision his future including Katie, and she’s smart and captivating.
Now, before Katie, he got married at 24 to Charlotte, his college sweetheart. Their marriage was ugly, quite frankly. They fought about how to raise their daughter, money, and the division of responsibilities in their marriage.
His wife dumped running their whole household on him, but he does see that he played a role in the ending of their marriage, too. In the final year of his marriage to Charlotte, she stopped being affectionate, so he realized a divorce was the only option.
“I got too comfortable with a coworker of mine and basically started giving my attention to her. My wife noticed and accused me of having an emotional affair,” he explained.
“I had basically checked out at that time and told her that the time to fix it was months ago, when I had tried fixing things with her.”
“Divorce went as well as contested divorces go. Things with the coworker went nowhere; she was just a friend I leaned on in a difficult time. We don’t talk now.”
Sadly, he lost his dad two years ago, and he inherited money from him. You know what he generously did with some of the cash? He helped Charlotte get a great career after she was laid off and had to take a retail job just to make ends meet.
Since they were on good terms, and he wanted the mother of his daughter to have stability, he paid for Charlotte to go to nursing school.
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Recently, he attended a BBQ with Katie, Charlotte, and a couple of friends. When he and Katie were driving home that evening, she was freezing him out.
“I ask her what’s wrong. She says that my ex revealed that I ‘cheated on her the entire last year of our marriage,’ and that’s why we divorced, and that’s such a warped and twisted way describe a fundamentally unhappy marriage from beginning to end that I couldn’t help but laugh,” he said.
“I told her everything. From my wife hiding credit cards to being berated from the moment my eyes opened to my eyes closing. I admitted to the emotional affair, but I never physically cheated.”
“After a long talk, my girlfriend said that she couldn’t hold my last relationship against me, and I’ve treated her well and honestly, so it’s fine; she trusts me.”
A day ago, he called Charlotte to say he’s back to only wanting to coparent with her. He then informed Charlotte that he never paid for her to go to nursing school because he felt guilty; he did it to be kind.
He told Charlotte he was no longer paying for her tuition, so it’s up to her to find out how to cover the costs of her spring semester and the remaining three years she has until graduation.
He suggested that she look into a loan, but this is no longer his issue. Charlotte questioned him about his change of heart, and he replied that she had to stay away from his relationship.
“She was not happy, but I just said I’d stick to the custody schedule and hung up…I have to make it clear that the nursing [school] is not part of our divorce agreement. We weren’t married long enough nor had enough assets to have much in spousal or child support,” he concluded.
Wow, did Charlotte bite the hand that feeds her! How foolish! He doesn’t have to pay to help Charlotte get an education; it was super selfless of him to do that in the first place.
Since Charlotte wants to stick her nose where it doesn’t belong and meddle in his relationship, yes, she deserves to be cut off for doing that.
Charlotte should be singing his praises, considering what he’s done for her.
Do you think he’s wrong for no longer paying for Charlotte to attend nursing school?
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By Bre Avery Zacharski
Hi, I'm Bre, Chip Chick's CEO! I have a degree in Textile/Surface Design from The Fashion Institute of Technology, and... More about Bre Avery Zacharski
